richardt@orstcs.UUCP (richardt) (03/19/86)
<please don't eat me. I taste awful. No, No. arrggghhhh... (burp. 'scuse me> Social Stereotype Identification Guide PRIMATE General Feature: Big body; Small head; Huge (or no) neck; Short, fat legs; Arms the same size as legs; Butched hair; "Dumb Jock" Frequent belching; Baseball cap (optional, but typical); "Neanderthal" Beer or sports T-shirt. "He-Man" "Gorilla" Behavior Summary: These oversize, undersmart brutes are experts at making a scene. They talk and belch excessively loudly. Any non-primate that catches their attention is abuse-bait. The best to expect from them is indifference, and even that they are capable of making offensive. They are best at talking a lot and saying nothing. RX (Arrogant General Features: Body any size, but usually not big; Short, Expert) styled hair; Glasses (optional, but typical); Expensive clothes; Ridiculously expensive calculator in a quick-draw "Smart Ass" holster; Briefcase (optional but typical). "Typical College Behavior Summary: These image-happy bozos make it their game Student" to appear as though they know everything when in fact they don't. To reinforce their position, they carefully watch everyone for some trivial lack of knowledge to viciously exploit. RX's regard all sentient life with contempt. Occasionally (but not often) RX's are actually intelligent. Forny General Features: Cheap imitation of Madonna, Howard Jones, Sting, or anyone in Duran Duran; Trench coat/Neons/Shorts; "Trendy" Thongs/Velcro shoes; Walkman. "Prep" "Surfer" Behavior Summary: These people evidently got hung up after "Wavo" seeing surfers on "CHiPs." They look like them, talk like them, act like them, but aren't as smart as them. Fornies are very dogmatic, referring to non-Fornies as "Ger-OH-Hoss!" BYC (Born General Features: Usually very similar to RX's and/or Fornies Yesterday in appearance; Face always peacful, albeit glazed; Cross Christian) on necklace, pin, bracelet, or earrings mandatory; Bible always within reach; Optional literary pamphlets. "Jesus Freak" "Holy Roller" Behavior Summary: BYC's are highly insecure individuals who adopt Christianity as a means of identity and self- justification. This means that they feel everything they do is 'Right' because they are, after all, the 'Chosen Few.' It also means they are incapable of inhaling without a holy stamp of approval. BYC's are prepared to flash a bible verse to back up their position while refusing to accept any verse that weakens it. BYC's are extremely dogmatic and know no shame. OR (Obnoxious General Features: SLOPPY. Dishevelled hair. Old, dirty, or Rowdy) torn clothing. Beat-up shoes. Perpetual ass-holish grin or obnoxious frown. Sometimes the mouth stays open. "Ass Hole" "Rowdy" Behavior Summary: None really needed. OR's have a constant "Partier" overwhelming need to encroach on everyone else's life. "Slime" Everything they do is aimed against or in spite of someone or something. OR's can use the word "fucking" as anything from a noun to a preposition. They use "faggot," or "dude," as personal pronouns. Metalhead General Features: As much black as possible. Leather and/ or metal typically added to help matters. Hair "Rocker" usually long. Face usually malicious, albeit placid. "Carp" "Leatherhead" Behavior Summary: For all their frightening appearance, metalheads are usually calm, cool, and collected. They are often intelligent. It is never a good idea, however, to get them mad. They often have quick, nasty tempers, and are very, very vengeful. Country Folk General Features: Always lots of denim. Comboy boots and hat often worn. Button-up, collared shirts most "Farmer Boy" commonly worn. "Cowboy" Behavior Summary: Country folk are proud to be rural and hate "city slickers." They are, however, quite often downright friendly, and even chivalrous, unless angered. They are often pompous and long-winded. All American. Deviant General Features: various (conservative or chaotic). "Wierdo" Behavior Summary: These people have either found them- "Psycho" selves, in spite of society, or are still looking. "Human" Deviants tend to be very defensive, although they often "Alien" go out of their way to pull punches. "Non-Conformist" Composite Types Thrasher -- OR + Metalhead Prep Christian -- Forny + BYC Ass Brain -- RX + OR True Waver -- Forny + Deviant Southern Fried -- OR + Country Folk SINC -- RX + Deviant True Prep -- RX + Forny True Punk -- Metalhead + Deviant Ass Punk -- OR + Deviant "SOSH" -- RX + Forny + OR SRI -- RX + BYC RR -- BYC + Metalhead Double BYC -- BYC + Deviant Surfhead -- Forny + OR Redneck -- Primate + Country Folk Abbreviations: SRI -- Self-Righteous Intellectual RR -- Righteous Rocker SINC -- Self-Indulgent Non-Conformist "SOSH" -- Socialite {hp-pcd | tektronix} !orstcs!richardt Richard Threadgill 1230 NW 23rd #7 Corvallis Or "What you love is your own power, What you live is your own story" - Rush 2112 With help from: Kevin Maxfield 321 Wilson Hall Corvallis Or You have only to open up your eyes, You have only to open up your ears, But, for the sake of it all, Keep your @#$%&* mouth shut!!!