anon@rochester.UUCP (rumour monger) (11/04/83)
BERSERK BLOOD-BATHER PARBOILS PLASMA, TERMINATES TRIO! -- Hospital wing evacuated as odor of cooked liver spreads A rogue blood washing machine's setting accidently changed from Delicate to Sterilize today, and pumped gallons of superheated blood into three strapped-down, patients here today. Their remains were removed under a heavy cloak of secrecy in a Meals on Wheels truck. An intern (who asked not to be identified) stated: "I'm not surprised this finally happened. We've been using that unit as an Espresso machine for months!" The well-known medical firm who manufactured the killer device, (ironically, their sales slogan is 'We take the die out of dialysis') apologized: "Give us a break -- These things just happen. But we do feel bad, and at our own expense we've turned the unit over to the Kappa Sigma fraternity. The brothers will take it to the three funerals, where mourners can have 3 hits with a 9-pound sledge for only a dollar". - 30 -