werner@aecom.UUCP (Craig Werner) (11/21/85)
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From the mail:
--> I never heard the punch line, promised for "next week", from the story
--> about the patient whose doctor asked him to take off his socks.
--> -=- Andrew Klossner (decvax!tektronix!tekecs!andrew) [UUCP]
--> You ever going to give us the punchline to the joke you started about
--> a month ago?
--> -Ron Natalie
Sorry, I gave away my modem to give me more time to study infectious
disease.
To summarize the original posting: a comedian speaking here at
Einstein told of a "cancer" he had in his groin, how he was convinced he was
going to die, and how eventually a Surgeon took a look at the lump, and asked
him to take off his socks. At this point we started laughing innapropriately
before the "punchline", but of course we knew why. I left off at this point,
adding only that in a retrospective study, this was the cancer that was cured
most often in Mexican Laetrile/whatever clinics.
Well, what was the tumor, what does it have to do with feet, and why
did we find it so funny?
I'll give it away. It wasn't cancer, it wasn't even a tumor. It was
a focal inflamed lymph node.
The comedian in question had been trimming his toenails the week before
and cut a little too deep, the toenail got infected, probably by a bacteria
called Staph epidermidis, although it could be a number of bacterial strains.
Anyway, the bacteria migrated up the lymphatics and eventually lodged in the
femoral lymph nodes, where it mimicked a fast growing tumor, at least to the
patient.
If it happens in a fingernail, it would be the cervical lymph nodes,
where it has been mistaken for Breast Cancer. Although since 2/3+ of women
will get short-lived lumps in their breasts, this forms the basis for most
false cancer alarms in women.
--
Craig Werner
!philabs!aecom!werner
"... Has Determined That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous To Your Health"