chertok@ucbvax.ARPA (Grady Toss) (03/20/85)
I've been involved in college radio for many years now, and off and
on I've had the opportunity to do weekly "garbage shows." Something
like Dr. Demento, but with the accent on awful as opposed to odd.
I thought I'd post a short list of some of the "bottom 10" entries...
(I just noticed that I didn't include much in the oddity catagory,
such as the Flipper theme in German or the Peerless Faucet installation
flexi... maybe next time)
... ucbvax!ucbingres!ebm
annette -- battle of san onofre
A most dramatic story. The surfin' gang goes to their
fave beach only to find a bunch of "skinnies" (skin
divers) who have invaded the sacred turf. A fight
breaks out--much to the delight of the women in the
entourage. Watch out for the brain teasing resolution.
archies -- rock 'n' roll
A thoroughly embarrassing "First a little guitar, then
a little drums..." number. Think about someone who
wrote "Sugar, Sugar" trying to explain Rock 'n' Roll to
the world. Listen for Jughead in the refrain!
balsam, gloria -- fluffy/rockin' high hopes
Local Bay Area product. The A-side, recently featured
on a Rhino compilation, is the plaintive song about a
lost-loved pet. The saccharine runs deep. Both sides
feature Gloria Balsam's amazing inandout of key singing
that is guaranteed to raise the hair on any nearby sur-
face.
dino, desi & billy -- (just about anything)
Dino Martin & Desi Arnaz Jr. plus their dads' realtor's
son (the ubiquitous "Billy") combine with a record con-
tract on Reprise (due to Dad's pal, Frank Sinatra) to
churn out a good amount of truly mediocre 60's shlock.
The medium sized hit "I'm a Rebel" doesn't even touch
the depths of some of the lesser known originals
("Desi's Drums") or sickly cover versions.
harrison, rolf -- two little boys
The flip side of "Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport." It
would have been a better idea to have issued a one-
sided single.
longet, claudine -- let's spend the night together
Claudine: "Andy, what means jail?"
martindale, wink -- to remember me/to a sleeping beauty
From recording star to Tic-Tac-Dough host is the story
here. Wink actually had a number of Country and
Western singles out many years ago that are tolerable.
This single, from three or four years ago, is quite the
oddity. The A-Side is the plea of Martindale to use
his bodily parts in a functional way upon his death.
Don't call it his death-bed, call it his bed-of-life.
He want his eyes to go to the kid who's never seen a
baseball, etc. He wants every cell of his body
explored, every corner of his mind... the latter which
shouldn't take too long. The B-side is an ode to his
sleeping daughter, and eminently forgettable.
miller, mrs. -- (anything)
Some of you may remember Alva from her bravura perfor-
mance in "The Cool Ones" (alongside, Roddy "B-L-O,
Blow" McDowell), or her appearances on many TV variety
shows of the sixties. The basic gag was a 50ish year
old woman singing pop hits with enough vibrato to
literally bring the house down. Personal faves include
her versions of "A Hard Days Night" and "Sweet Pea."
She made two albums as far as I know... both collectors
items.
partridge family -- we've got to get out of this place
Positively anemic.
reynolds, burt -- a room for a boy never used
A classic of the tear-jerkin' genre. Poor Burt, he has
a life all set up for a son but he hasn't been blessed.
As far as I can tell he's hoping to conceive of and
birth a child all on his own!
nimoy, leonard -- highly illogical
Just one of many classic Nimoy pieces. This one
features Mr. Spock speculating as to why the human race
is so gol' durned illogical. Musically this represents
the worst 60's schlock pop--the sort of stuff Darren
Stevens might have written if Mr. Tate had been a music
publisher in the Brill Building.
savalas, telly -- you've lost that lovin' feeling
-- rubber bands and bits of string
More! More! The liner notes on the back of this LP
("Telly") really explain it all. Singing isn't really
Telly's "bag," but, hey, someone *asked* him to make
this record. Kojak can't quite hit the notes where God
intended them to be.
shaggs -- (anything)
The Wiggins sisters, with the aid of their father and
brother, recorded an album full of what is arguably the
worst "music" ever committed to vinyl. Rounder Records
had the presence of mind to reissue their LP, as well
as a second disc of rare, previously unissued tracks.
The second contains the immortal "Shaggs Own Thing,"
featuring father and brother hopelessly lost riffing in
a square world of their own. "My Pal Foot-Foot" "What
Are Parents"... they're all beyond belief. This is the
classic example of the "anybody can make music in the 60's"
attitude gone haywire. Patti Smith (among others) cites
this band as a major influence.
shatner, william -- lucy in the sky with diamonds
-- mr. tambourine man
These are already old hat to net news readers. Both
the studio and live versions are excruciating Shake-
spearian readings set to disco. There is also an
interview disc floating around wherein Shatner explains
how he came to make these... He says that he knew he
couldn't sing, but that he could ACT! Obviously he was
able to convince someone else this was a good idea.
"Lucy..." has for many years been consistently voted
the very worst song of all time.
sinatra, nancy -- run for your life
Much in the spirit of John Davidson (who is famous for
singing songs originally written for the opposite
gender), Nancy's reading of this song, replete with the
lyric, "You've got to run for you life if you can lit-
tle boy..." delivered with a peculiar slingshot styl-
ing, and her turn of the phrase "You know I'm just a
wicked chick..." make this a true stand-out from the
"Boots" album. The liner notes on the back are also an
inspiration.
sinatra, nancy & lee hazlewood -- you've lost that lovin'
feeling
Lee's deep dark off key tones, together with non-talent
Sinatra boost this one right past album-mate "Jackson."
vandals -- wet and wild;mustang georgie/it's like now, baby
I don't think we see one-off deals like this too much
anymore. I got this at the Macy's teen boutique in
1967 or '68. My best guess is that in trade for
recording two poprock commercials (a '67 commercially
hip rendition of the 7-Up jingle and one for the Ford
Mustang), this band was allowed to record their own
track for the B-side. "It's Like Now, Baby" is another
classically L7 track written by someone who tried so
hard to get with it and never made it. It's just bad.jcjeff@ihlpg.UUCP (jeffreys) (03/21/85)
> harrison, rolf -- two little boys > The flip side of "Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport." It > would have been a better idea to have issued a one- > sided single. > > From ... ucbvax!ucbingres!ebm (Grady Toss) This record, unfortunately, was a big hit in Engalnd some years ago, the flipside being a hit a few years before that! The artist is Rolf Harris and not Harrison.( bit of a pun there as he is also a well known *quickie* artist. He usually uses large [4,6 or 8 inch wide ] brushes and/or rollers ). As the title of the flipside may suggest, he is in fact Austrailan. He divides his time (or use to) between Britain and Australia. And up until a few years ago had his own TV show in England. It was the usuall type of variety show, during which, if you can imagine this, he would sing a song and paint a large (10 feet x about 12 feet) canvass, depicting the subject or a scene from the song. I found that most of the time his songs did not appeal to me much, but his painting was very good, considering the time he had to paint them and the size of the canvass he had to cover, but the brushes and rollers helped! It was not until he had finished the picture that you could tell what it was of, which was quite good because you spent the time he was singing, wondering what the picture was and did not notice the song/s! -- [ You called all the way from America - Joan Armatrading ] [ You're never alone with a rubber duck - Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy ] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ || From the keys of Richard Jeffreys ( British Citizen Overseas ) || || employed by North American Philips Corporation || || @ AT&T Bell Laboratories, Naperville, Illinois || ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ || General disclaimer about anything and everything that I may have typed || ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
cmoore@BRL-VLD.ARPA (VLD/VMB) (03/21/85)
I remember reading of Mrs. Miller in 1960s newpaper microfilm, but Nancy Sinatra's version of "Run for Your Life" (from Beatles "Rubber Soul" LP) is news to me.
gnome@oliveb.UUCP (Gary Traveis) (03/26/85)
> harrison, rolf -- two little boys > The flip side of "Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport." It > would have been a better idea to have issued a one- > sided single. > > nimoy, leonard -- highly illogical > Just one of many classic Nimoy pieces. This one > features Mr. Spock speculating as to why the human race > is so gol' durned illogical. Musically this represents > the worst 60's schlock pop--the sort of stuff Darren > Stevens might have written if Mr. Tate had been a music > publisher in the Brill Building. > > > shatner, william -- lucy in the sky with diamonds > -- mr. tambourine man > These are already old hat to net news readers. Both > the studio and live versions are excruciating Shake- > spearian readings set to disco. There is also an > interview disc floating around wherein Shatner explains > how he came to make these... He says that he knew he > couldn't sing, but that he could ACT! Obviously he was > able to convince someone else this was a good idea. > "Lucy..." has for many years been consistently voted > the very worst song of all time. > > OK, now, does anyone out there have any idea as to where these steaming heaps of "diamonds in the rough" can be found? (In the SF Bay area) Also, has anyone ever ordered the cassette of Muzakized DEVO hits? Gary (hplabs,allegra,ihnp4)oliveb!olivee!gnome