jenkin@yunexus.UUCP (Michael Jenkin) (03/29/88)
Live it up (A CTV program) recently held a Great Canadian Joke Contest. The following were the winners Joke #1 ------- There was an international conference on elephants with different countries asked to submit papers. The US submitted a paper on ``How to raise elephants for fun and profit'', the USSR submitted a paper on ``Elephants: the next 5 year plane'', England submitted a paper on ``Elephants in India: A historical perspective''. The Canadian paper was titled ``Elephants: A provincial or federal problem?'' Joke #2 ------- Replace <region> with your favourite city in Canada, and replace <province> with your favourite province. A man goes into his doctors office and is told that he has only 6 months to live. He asks his doctor if there is anything that can be done to prolong his life. The doctor thinks for a minute and says, ``well you can always marry a woman from <province> and live in <city>''. The man asks, ``why will that extend my life?''. Replies the doctor, ``It will not, however it will seem like the longest six months of your life''. Finally the winner: Joke #3 --------------------------- It was very difficult to come up with a name for the country. Finally it was decided that all the letters in the alphabet should be put into a hat, and whatever letters came out they would spell the name of this new country. So the letters were put in the hat, and someone was found to draw out the letters and to call them out as they were selected. So the first letter was selected and a voice rang out, "C, eh", "N, eh", "D, eh"...
ray@micomvax.UUCP (Ray Dunn) (03/31/88)
In article <384@yunexus.UUCP> jenkin@yunexus.UUCP (Michael Jenkin) writes: >Live it up (A CTV program) recently held a Great Canadian Joke Contest. >The following were the winners >.... Fix! Fix! Fix! In Montreal, various members of the "public" were interviewed on a St Catherine Street corner for their joke contribution. Throughout the country, various other obvious amateurs gave their jokes. In Toronto, the audience in a comedy club contributed etc. The final winner, from Montreal, just "happened" to be Ralph Lockwood, a local Radio and (CTV) TV personality and funny-man!!!!! No mention of this fact was made on Live It Up, even as he was presented with his VCR first prize! Ray Dunn. ..{philabs,mnetor,musocs}!micomvax!ray