twltims@watmath.UUCP (Tracy Tims) (10/28/83)
". . .the meaning of *any* communication [between people]. . .
is not what you think it means; it's the response it elicits.
If you try to compliment somebody and he's insulted, the meaning
of your communication is an insult. If you say he's insulted
because he didn't understand you, that's a justification for
your inability to communicate. The communication itself was
an insult. You can either justify things and explain them,
or you can learn from them. My preference is to learn from
them. So if I communicate and someone takes it as an insult,
next time I change the way I communicate. And if in the future
I want to insult that person, I know exactly how to do it!"
John Grinder,
Richard Bandler,
"Trance-Formations" p 24
1981, Real People Press,
Moab, Utah
reproduced without permission
Don't get hung up on the word "meaning". Think of it as effect.
Tracy Tims {linus,allegra,decvax,utcsrgv}!watmath!twltims
The University of Waterloo, 519-885-1211 x2730