etan@tellab1.UUCP (Nate Stelton) (08/09/84)
I am getting married in October, and I will probably be posting more
questions in the future (I've never done this before). My question this
time is:
If I live near Chicago and some relatives live in Florida that I don't
expect to be able to make it to my wedding, should I send them invitations
anyway? I don't want them to feel obliged to attend if they can't afford
the plane tickets, but I also don't want them to feel left out.
-etancmsj@ihdba.UUCP (Chris Jachcinski) (08/10/84)
I'm in the same position (lots of out of town relatives) and
we'll be sending them invitations, even though we know only
a few will be able to make it.
Chris Jachcinski
AT&T Bell Labs
*!ihnp4!ihdba!cmsjlcb@mhuxt.UUCP (BARBALAS) (08/10/84)
You might try to send out announcements, which usually go out around the day of the wedding to let people know that you were married. Or another convention is to send the wedding invite without an invite or RSVP card for the reception- that makes people feel less obligated to come, send a present, etc. Lorina Barbalas ATT Bell Labs ihnp4!mhuxt!lcb
plw@drutx.UUCP (08/10/84)
[] Of course you send any relative and friend the invitations. If they can't make it - you except it. If they don't get one - they are hurt.
daves@ios.UUCP (David B. Schnepper) (08/13/84)
I feel you SHOULD send invitations to people you would like to have at the wedding, regardless of if you think they can manage to attend or not. Not sending them an invitation means you are making the decision for them (this also applies for just sending an announcement). After all, they may think enough of you to WANT to spend the money to attend your wedding, or maybe they were going to vacation in the area anyway, etc, etc, etc. While this may make planning for the wedding more difficult (well, we send 200 invites, but only expect 150 to actually show, but who knows?), the use of RSVP cards will help you here. My ideas: (never actually tried) Invite: People you would like to have there. Close friends, relatives. RSVP cards so you can plan properly. Announcement: Send to people that YOU would like to announce your marriage to, but whom are not close enough friends that you would like them to share the experience with you. Dave Schnepper ios!daves
agust@spuxll.UUCP (08/16/84)
Send the invitations you'll be surprised how many people will make an effort to make it. When I got married I sent 30 - 40 invitations to Europe everyone responded most with thank you and a no. Some people changed vacation plans to make it some made new plans altogether. We ended up having 6 people come from Iceland for the wedding. To those that wern't able to attend we sent a picture which went over very well. Its an easy way of keeping in touch with far away friends and relatives. Icelandic Cowboy Agust K. G. spuxll!agust
garret@oddjob.UChicago.UUCP (Trisha O Tuama) (08/18/84)
***** Here is an "opposite" point of view (so to speak): my "friends" Barb and Larry were married a month before my husband and I were married. Six weeks before their wedding, Barb told me that since she and Larry were being married in her family church in Tennessee, they had decided not to invite any of the people they knew in Chicago (ie, four years accumulation of friends, classmates, bosses, professors, colleagues, roommates, etc.) and had instead decided to invite only his family (from NYC) and her parents' friends in Tennessee. Barb's reasoning went something like this: well, most of the people here (Chicago) couldn't or wouldn't go all the way down there and anyway, we wouldn't have any place for them to stay, and it just seems like a waste of money to send invitations to people who won't be coming to the wedding. My feelings regarding her action were mixed, ranging from amazement to hurt, as we, obviously, were among the many people Barb and Larry did not invite. And, since it now seemed like a waste of money for us to a) buy them a wedding present; or b) send them an invitation to our wedding, we did neither. Trisha O Tuama ps: the person who mentioned sending out RSVP cards should read what Miss Manners has to say about this particular aspect of wedding etiquette.