rbg@cbosgd.UUCP (Richard Goldschmidt) (01/16/85)
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The following (longish) story relates some events in the history of
warm fuzzies, for your stimulation and enjoyment. It is copied (without
permission) from "Scripts People Live" by Claude Steiner. The commentary
at the end accompanied a reprint of the story which appeared in the book
"Raising Kids O.K." by D. E. Babcock and T. D. Keepers.
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Here is a story about a stroke economy.
A FAIRY TALE
Once upon a time, a long time ago, there lived two very happy
people called Tim and Maggie with two children called John and Lucy.
To understand how happy they were, you have to understand how things
were in those days. You see, in those days everyone was given at
birth a small, soft, Fuzzy Bag. Anytime a person reached into this
bag he was able to pull out a Warm Fuzzy. Warm Fuzzies were very much
in demand because whenever somebody was given a Warm Fuzzy it made him
feel warm and fuzzy all over. People who didn't get Warm Fuzzies
regularly were in danger of developing a sickness in their back which
caused them to shrivel up and die.
In those days it was very easy to get Warm Fuzzies. Anytime that
somebody felt like it, he might walk up to you and say, "I'd like to
have a Warm Fuzzy." You would then reach into your bag and pull out
a Fuzzy the size of a little girl's hand. As soon as the Fuzzy saw
the light of day it would smile and blossom into a large, shaggy,
Warm Fuzzy. You would lay it on the person's shoulder or head or lap
and it would snuggle up and melt right against their skin and make them
feel good all over. People were always asking each other for Warm
Fuzzies, and since they were always given freely, getting enough of them
was never a problem. There were always plenty to go around and as a
consequence everyone was happy and felt warm and fuzzy most of the time.
One day a bad witch became angry because everyone was so happy and
no one was buying her potions and salves. This witch was very clever
and she devised a very wicked plan. One beautiful morning she crept up
to Tim while Maggie was playing with their daughter and whispered in his
ear, "See here, Tim, look at all the Fuzzies that Maggie is giving to
Lucy. You know, if she keeps it up, eventually she is going to run out
and then there won't be any left for you."
Tim was astonished. He turned to the witch and said, "Do you mean
to tell me that there isn't a Warm Fuzzy in our bag every time we reach
into it?"
And the witch said: "No, absolutely not, and once you run out,
that's it. You don't have any more." With this she flew away on her
broom laughing and cackling hysterically.
Tim took this to heart and began to notice every time Maggie gave
a Warm Fuzzy to somebody else. Eventually he got very worried and
upset because he liked Maggie's Warm Fuzzies very much and did not want
to give them up. He certainly did not think it was right for Maggie
to be spending all her Warm Fuzzies on the children and other people.
He bagan to complain every time he saw Maggie giving a Warm Fuzzy to
somebody else, and because Maggie liked him very much, she stopped
giving Warm Fuzzies to other people as often, and reserved them for him.
The children watched this and soon began to get the idea that it
was wrong to give up Warm Fuzzies any time you were asked or felt like
it. They too became very careful. They would watch their parents
closely and whenever they felt that one of their parents was giving too
many Fuzzies to others, they also began to object. They began to feel
worried whenever they gave away too many Warm Fuzzies. Even though
they found a Warm Fuzzy every time they reached into their bag, they
reached in less and less and became more and more stingy. Soon people
began to notice the lack of Warm Fuzzies, and they began to feel less
and less fuzzy. They began to shrivel up and, occasionally people
would die from lack of Warm Fuzzies. More and more people went to the
witch to buy her potions and slaves even though they didn't seem to work.
Well, the situation was getting very serious indeed. The bad witch
who had been watching all of this didn't really want the people to die
so she devised a new plan. She gave everyone a bag that was very similar
to the Fuzzy Bag except that this one was cold while the Fuzzy Bag was
warm. Inside the witch's bag were Cold Pricklies. These Cold Pricklies
did not make people feel warm and fuzzy, but made them feel cold and
prickly instead. But they did prevent people's backs from shriveling up.
So, from then on, everytime somebody said, "I want a Warm Fuzzy," people
who were worried about depleting their supply would say, "I can't give
you a Warm Fuzzy, but would you like a Cold Prickly?" Sometimes, two
people would walk up to each other, thinking they could get a Warm Fuzzy,
but one or the other of them would change his mind and they would wind
up giving each other Cold Pricklies. So the end result was that while
very few people were dying, a lot of people were still unhappy and
feeling very cold and prickly.
The situation got very complicated because, since the coming of the
witch, there were less and less Warm Fuzzies around, so Warm Fuzzies,
which used to be thought of as free as air, became extremely valuable.
This caused people to do all sorts of things in order to obtain them.
Before the witch had appeared, people used to gather in groups of three
or four or five, never caring too much who was giving Warm Fuzzies to
whom. After the coming of the witch, people began to pair off and to
reserve all their Warm Fuzzies for each other exclusively. If ever
one of the two persons forgot himself and gave a Warm Fuzzy to someone
else, he would immediately feel guilty about it because he knew that
his partner would probably resent the loss of a Warm Fuzzy.
People who could not find a generous partner had to buy their Warm
Fuzzies and had to work long hours to earn the money. And the thing
which happened was that some people would take Cold Pricklies - which
were limitless and freely available - coat them white and fluffy and
pass them on as Warm Fuzzies. These counterfeit Warm Fuzzies were
really Plastic Fuzzies, and they caused additional difficulties. For
instance, two people would get together and freely exchange Plastic
Fuzzies, which presumably should have made them feel good, but they
came away feeling bad instead. Since they thought they had been
exchanging Warm Fuzzies, people grew very confused about this, never
realizing that their cold, prickly feelings were really the result of
the fact that they had been given a lot of Plastic Fuzzies.
So the situation was very, very dismal and it all started because
of the coming of the witch who made people believe that some day, when
least expected, they might reach into their Warm Fuzzy Bag and find
no more.
Not long ago a young woman with big hips, born under the sign of
Aquarius, came to this unhappy land. She had not heard about the bad
witch and was not worried about running out of Warm Fuzzies. She gave
them out freely, even when not asked. They called her the Hip Woman
and disapproved of her because she was giving the children the idea that
they should not worry about running out of Warm Fuzzies. The children
liked her very much because they felt good around her and they too
began to give out Warm Fuzzies whenever they felt like it. The grownups
became concerned and decided to pass a law to protect the children
from depleting their supply of Warm Fuzzies. The law made it a criminal
offense to give out Warm Fuzzies in a reckless manner. The children,
however, seemed not to care, and in spite of the law they continued to
give each other Warm Fuzzies whenever they felt like it and always when
asked. Because there were many children, almost as many as grownups,
it began to look as if maybe they would have their way.
As of now it is hard to say what will happen. Will the grown-up
forces of law and order stop the recklessness of the children? Are
grownups going to join with the Hip Woman and the children in taking
a chance that there will always be as many Warm Fuzzies as needed? Will
they remember the days their children are trying to bring back when Warm
Fuzzies were abundant because people gave them away freely?
Tim and Maggie and the children live in a world where their welfare is
dependent on giving and getting strokes - and so do all of us. We all live
within a *stroke economy* that defines the rules for giving and getting
strokes. Strokes are often treated as a commodity that is in limited supply,
to be exchanged, traded, and monopolized. We all lose some of our capability
for being spontaneous, aware, and intimate, because we have been raised in
situations where the supply of strokes is limited and the price exacted for
them is high. To regain this ease and freedom, we need to reject much of our
basic training about exchanging strokes. Because the stroke economy is rarely
identified and defined, we are often unaware of the limitations in which we
exist.
According to Steiner, the restrictive stroke economy under which many of us
have been raised is based on these rules:
1. Don't give strokes if you have them to give.
2. Don't ask for strokes if you need them.
3. Don't accept strokes if you want them.
4. Don't reject strokes when you don't want them.
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Rich Goldschmidt {ucbvax,ihnp4,decvax,allegra} !cbosgd!rbg
ARPA: cbosgd!rbg@ucbvax
"I've never ever been a blue calm sea, I've always been a storm"