gts@dmcnh.UUCP (Guy The Schafer) (02/19/85)
[Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet a close friend of mine....] OK. Say a hypothetical 21 year old single male person was invited to the home of his hypothetical parental units for an anniversary party to be held about 1000 miles away. So he jumps on the plane not alone but with a happily-married 35 year old female person with whom the hypothetical male has been having a affair for eighteen months. Enter hypothetical male with companion into room containing hypothetical parents (2) and hypothetical grandparents (4) and hypothetical brother (1). What does he introduce the female person as? And how does he get the same bed with her that night? Hoo-boy. This is all hypothetical, of course. +-------------------------------------+ +------------------------------------+ | USENET: | | DISCLAIMER: The content of this | | USMail: Name and address | | message is the sole responsibility | | withheld by good | | of no one and does not necessarily | | NEBell: taste. | | reflect the policies of Datamedia. | +-------------------------------------+ +------------------------------------+ "If I had been a Bokonist then, that statement would have made me howl." -KVJr
beth@gymble.UUCP (Beth Katz) (02/21/85)
(Guy The Schafer) writes: >OK. Say a hypothetical 21 year old single male person was invited to the >home of his hypothetical parental units for an anniversary party to be held >about 1000 miles away. So he jumps on the plane not alone but with a happily- >married 35 year old female person with whom the hypothetical male has been >having a affair for eighteen months. Enter hypothetical male with companion >into room containing hypothetical parents (2) and hypothetical grandparents >(4) and hypothetical brother (1). What does he introduce the female person >as? And how does he get the same bed with her that night? Hoo-boy. I would introduce the female as a friend of mine from XXX where XXX stands for work, school, or whatever. I would have warned said parents ahead of time that I was bringing a friend so as to not make things unbearably uncomfortable. Miss Manners says that unmarried folks should not ask to share sleeping quarters but that the hosts should ignore wanderings in the night. Why did the hypothetical male person decide it was so important to bring the hypothetical female person along to an anniversary party? Maybe he just wanted to make trouble, especially if he didn't warn his parents first. All answers are also hypothetical. Beth Katz
carson@homxa.UUCP (P.CARSTENSEN) (02/22/85)
How about "Mama, this is Esther. Unfortunately the other third of our menage a trios couldn't make it out here..." (assuming that the hypothetical (henceforth, abbrev. to hp.) husband of the hp. happily-married woman is cognizant of the affair...) Of course, this all depends on the health (wouldn't want 2 of the 4 hp. grandparents to keel over with heart attacks, ja?), humor, and general tolerance of all the others attending the anniversary party. Actually the rule I would use is: How much to say depends on how long you expect this hp. affair to last...if it is going to be a permanent part of your life, they're gonna have to come to terms with it sometime. If it is a short-term fling, then you have some pretty interesting questions about why you want this person at a gathering that is so family-defined.... (I know my parents would mostly worry about me getting hurt in such a situation, tho my father would growl initially...) P.
spaf@gatech.UUCP (Gene Spafford) (02/22/85)
In article <191@dmcnh.UUCP> gts@dmcnh.UUCP (Guy The Schafer) writes: >OK. Say a hypothetical 21 year old single male person was invited >to the home of his hypothetical parental units for an anniversary >party to be held about 1000 miles away. >So he jumps on the plane not alone but with a happily-married >35 year old female person with whom the hypothetical male has >been having a affair for eighteen months. >Enter hypothetical male with companion into room containing >hypothetical parents (2) and hypothetical grandparents (4) and >hypothetical brother (1). >What does he introduce the female person as? >And how does he get the same bed with her that night? Hoo-boy. > >This is all hypothetical, of course. Right. Here are some suggestions for introductions and so on. The author (me) assumes no responsibility for the success or failure of any of these approaches: 1) "Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet Wilbur. He's an old college buddy of mine. I thought you'd be fascinated to see him -- isn't that about the most amazing makup job you've every seen? But don't worry -- he's straight, so there's no problem putting us in the same room tonight." 2) "Hi! Folks, this is Wilma. She followed me home. Can I keep her? I'll feed her and walk her, and she can sleep at the foot of my bed. Pretty please?" 3) "This is Sheeba, my sex therapist. You'll have to put us in the same room tonight, or all we've worked for will go for naught and I'll probably regain my sick lust for little boys covered in mayonaise." 4) "Grandad, this is Hesther. She's helping me with my project in civil disobedience -- we're going to sleep together and violate not only state laws against adultery, but the federal Mann Act. As citizens, it's our duty to protest stupid laws -- don't you think?" 5) "Grandmother, I'd like you to meet Bitsy. You know how cold it always gets in my room at night? Well, I brought Bitsy along so I wouldn't catch pnuemonia and die and ruin the whole weekend for Mom and Dad." 6) "Dad, I must have inherited it from you. I made one mistake with Yolanda here, and she won't let me be. She claims she's never met a man like me, and unless she spends every night with me, she'll phone her husband, Guido, and tell him that I kidnapped her. Dad, I don't think any of us want Guido to violate the conditions of his probabtion." 7) "Folks, remember how I work in computers? I'd like you to meet one of the projects I've been working on -- X-13/A. This is a state-of-the-art project in robotics. I'm sorry I had to bring work home with me, but we've gotten a rush order to test these out. I'm afraid I'm going to be up all night tinkering with this prototype model, but I'll just work in my room with the door closed so as not to disturb you." 8) "I'd like you meet my employer, Maybelline. She and her husband want children, but Herbert is infertile, so they hired me to serve as the father. I'm sorry I had to bring work with me during your anniversary, but you can imagine how critical proper timing is with something like this, and by our calculations, 1:03am is the peak time for me to punch in, so to speak." 9) "Francine here is a nurse. I had an injury recently that causes me to go into seizures and stop breathing during the night while I sleep. She's been assigned to stay with me at night to save my life when it happens. Don't fret about it much -- she's highly trained and has brought all the necessary equipment. Thank God for Medicare and modern medicine!" 10) "Happy Anniversary folks! This is Agent Smith, of the...er... well, a Federal agency. I can't tell you what I've been doing at work recently, but she is supposed to be with me 24 hours a day. If you see any strange cars in the neighborhood, let her know immediately." Good luck. And let me offer a bit of advice from experience (and a line you've probably heard already): be careful not to leave any marks. -- Gene "6 months and counting" Spafford The Clouds Project, School of ICS, Georgia Tech, Atlanta GA 30332 CSNet: Spaf @ GATech ARPA: Spaf%GATech.CSNet @ CSNet-Relay.ARPA uucp: ...!{akgua,allegra,hplabs,ihnp4,linus,seismo,ulysses}!gatech!spaf
annab@azure.UUCP (A Beaver) (02/22/85)
>References: <191@dmcnh.UUCP> > [Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet a close friend of mine....] > > OK. Say a hypothetical 21 year old single male person was invited >.......... > So he jumps on the plane not alone but with a happily-married > 35 year old female person with whom the hypothetical male has > been having a affair for eighteen months. >......... > What does he introduce the female person as? answer: [Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet a close friend of mine....] > And how does he get the same bed with her that night? Hoo-boy. answer: Get a Motel room close by if the folks have hang-ups about sex. Obviously the couple in question doesn't. 'I' was always under the impression that when a kid leaves home, he/she's on their own. And 'most'folks who have gotten far enough in life to have children of age 21, realize just how 'human' their children are. (remember the 'terrible twos') And besides, if you have been spending time together for 18 months, I'm sure that there must be OTHER quallities to the relationship. Annadiana Beaver A Beaver@Tektronix "Coi-tus-in-to-rup-tus-bon-us-mey-um" "Ki-mo-sa-bi-wat-chum-what-chu-say-um" "Lord, have mercy on my so-o-o-oooo-lo" -Peter Schickele- as the monk in Hansel & Gretel & Ted $ Alice
chuqui@nsc.UUCP (The Phantom) (02/23/85)
In article <191@dmcnh.UUCP> gts@dmcnh.UUCP (Guy The Schafer) writes: >OK. Say a hypothetical 21 year old single male person was invited >to the home of his hypothetical parental units for an anniversary >party to be held about 1000 miles away. >So he jumps on the plane not alone but with a happily-married >35 year old female person with whom the hypothetical male has >been having a affair for eighteen months. >Enter hypothetical male with companion into room containing >hypothetical parents (2) and hypothetical grandparents (4) and >hypothetical brother (1). >What does he introduce the female person as? How about ~mom, dad, this is my best friends wife....~ >And how does he get the same bed with her that night? Hoo-boy. Quietly... *grin* Absurdly, chuq (my parents aren't hypothetical...) -- From behind the eight ball: Chuq Von Rospach {cbosgd,fortune,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo}!nsc!chuqui nsc!chuqui@decwrl.ARPA We'll be recording at the Paradise Friday night. Live, on the Death label.
jss@sjuvax.UUCP (J. Shapiro) (02/25/85)
[Pacman's revenge...] This one is too good to resist..... > A hypothetical 21 year old single male person was invited > to the home of his hypothetical parental units for an anniversary > party to be held about 1000 miles away. > So he jumps on the plane not alone but with a happily-married > 35 year old female person with whom the hypothetical male has > been having a affair for eighteen months. > Enter hypothetical male with companion into room containing > hypothetical parents (2) and hypothetical grandparents (4) and > hypothetical brother (1). > What does he introduce the female person as? His lover or girlfriend (whichever the parents/grandparents can handle). This assumes that they don't know she is married. Personally, it seems to me that bringing this person to an anniversary is potentially a very cruel thing to do, and in all likelihood the guest shouldn't be brought precisely because of this kind of problem. It depends on the family reaction. Sometimes the best thing to do is to avoid treading on other people's beliefs and sensitivities even at some cost to oneself for the sake of those peoples' feelings. On the other hand, I wouldn't be caught dead seeing a married woman because I am a believer in monogamy and think affairs are as a general thing are not a good idea. There are exceptions to this, but only when all of the people involved know what is going on and agree to it (including, in this case, the husband). I might well not mind my wife doing such a thing if I were informed, but I would not engage in extramarital sex without extreme circumstances. It would upset me greatly if I were not informed, and this is something I make sure the people I see in a one-on-one relationship know. It is not that I disapprove, but I feel it reasonable to ask that I know about things which may affect the relationship I am in where this is possible. The point of this is that I am hardly seeing this from the hypothetical person's point of view, so I am sure their are things I don't see. > And how does he get the same bed with her that night? Hoo-boy. If you need to ask this question, it is probably because your folks/grandfolks feel or would hypothetically feel very uncomfortable about this. Can the sex possibly be so important as to be worth involving such discomfort? The question, in general, when posed between the generations, is a hard one even without the additional difficulties thrown in. My feeling is that I respect my parents feelings about what is proper decorum in their house. I prefer (in part for this reason) to live outside of the house. If the hypothetical parental units are amenable to this sort of thing the answer is to straightforwardly indicate your preferences as to sleeping arrangements. If they are not amenable, it is not so much to ask that their feelings be respected. > This is all hypothetical, of course. In the case of my own folks, I once had the conversation with my mom (my dad assumes I am "careful" and is a little less concerned) which ran: Me: Mom, the problem with some of the social advice you give me is that what is considered morally acceptable today in the college community is very different from what was acceptable when you were there. It's not clear that the moral values are better or worse, but they are decidedly different. Mom: So please explain to me what the moral values are these days. Me: The truth is that you will feel much more comfortable not knowing. She has never asked me again. I would not do this were it something that need concern her, but I see no reason to cause her unnecessary disturbance. When I went home for the Jewish High Holidays my girlfriend and I (she came back with me - it is closer than Fla.) slept in separate rooms and respected my parents desires that this remain so (There is a 15 year old sister in the house...). When at school, she has been known to stay with me, though not very often. The folks don't seem to mind when she answers the phone (mainly because they like her), and I am sure that they know she is sleeping here on occasion. It is a question we have mutually silently agreed not to raise, and everyone seems to cope well with this solution. This is a very thorny topic, and the above are only my off the cuff feelings, so I hope I don't offend anyone by not thinking sufficiently before speaking. By the way, how did the hypothetical anniversary go? Jon Shapiro Haverford College
br@duke.UUCP (Balu Raman) (02/26/85)
In article <109@azure.UUCP> annab@azure.UUCP (A Beaver) writes: >>References: <191@dmcnh.UUCP> > >> [Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet a close friend of mine....] >> >> OK. Say a hypothetical 21 year old single male person was invited >>.......... >> So he jumps on the plane not alone but with a happily-married >> 35 year old female person with whom the hypothetical male has >> been having a affair for eighteen months. >>......... >> What does he introduce the female person as? > answer: [Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet a close friend of mine....] > >> And how does he get the same bed with her that night? Hoo-boy. > answer: Get a Motel room close by if the folks have hang-ups > about sex. Obviously the couple in question doesn't. > > 'I' was always under the impression that when a kid leaves > home, he/she's on their own. And 'most'folks who have gotten > far enough in life to have children of age 21, realize just > how 'human' their children are. (remember the 'terrible twos') > > And besides, if you have been spending time together for 18 > months, I'm sure that there must be OTHER quallities to > the relationship. > > Annadiana Beaver > A Beaver@Tektronix "Coi-tus-in-to-rup-tus-bon-us-mey-um" > "Ki-mo-sa-bi-wat-chum-what-chu-say-um" > "Lord, have mercy on my so-o-o-oooo-lo" > -Peter Schickele- > as the monk in > Hansel & Gretel & Ted $ Alice I wonder what moral values you guys out there on the net have ? It is really sickening to read all these suggestions this college kid is getting from all you experienced guys/gals out there. Did any of you guys put yourself in the married guy's position and imagine what it would be like ? Balu Raman