riddle@ut-sally.UUCP (Prentiss Riddle) (07/19/85)
I probably won't have any use for this information for at least another year,
but I'll ask now: what is the preferred way of stating in a wedding
invitation that you've got all the teapots, serving trays, plates and cutlery
you need but that people who insist on giving gifts anyway are more than
welcome to send a check to Oxfam or some other charitable organization? And
would it be overdoing it to include some Oxfam literature and/or a
pre-addressed envelope?
(Oxfam, by the way, is one of the best famine relief and Third-World
development outfits around.)
Please send responses to me and I'll summarize.
--- Prentiss Riddle ("Aprendiz de todo, maestro de nada.")
--- {ihnp4,harvard,seismo,gatech,ctvax}!ut-sally!riddle
--- riddle@ut-sally.UUCP, riddle@ut-sally.ARPA, riddle%zotz@ut-sallyriddle@im4u.UUCP (08/14/85)
>> What is the preferred way of stating in a wedding invitation that you've got >> all the teapots, serving trays, plates and cutlery you need but that people >> who insist on giving gifts anyway are more than welcome to send a check to >> Oxfam or some other charitable organization? Little did I know when I asked this seemingly innocent question that I would be severely chastised for my presumption. You see, Miss Manners herself has issued a clear statement on this subject, to wit: >> What Miss Manners must tell all of you, regardless of your motives, is that >> there is no tasteful way -- not even any moderately decent way -- of >> directing present giving when you are on the receiving end. Contrary to >> general belief, present giving is never required. It is traditionally >> associated with birthdays, Christmas, and weddings, but cannot be used as an >> entrance fee to related activities. You must pretend that you invite people >> because you want to celebrate important occasions with them, and you must >> seem pleasantly surprised when they give you something. Sigh. Unfortunately, although my fiancee and I don't "expect" any wedding gifts, we know damn well that we're going to get them -- her sister was married last year and absolutely inundated. But Miss Manners is probably right. Given a restriction on overt attempts on our part to discourage useless gift-giving, a few people did have suggestions on measures we could legitimately take. The most common one was to circulate word among our close relatives and friends that we'd like gifts to charity in our name, and hope that at least a certain portion of our more distant relatives and acquaintances would ask the others before selecting a gift. Another was to go on and accept all the toasters and dishes we could get, and then return them to the stores and pass the cash along to charity ourselves! Cagey, that one. Hmm. Personally, I'm beginning to think that eloping is the only sensible way to get married. :-) --- Prentiss Riddle ("Aprendiz de todo, maestro de nada.") --- {ihnp4,harvard,seismo,gatech}!ut-sally!riddle riddle@ut-sally.UUCP --- riddle@ut-sally.ARPA, riddle%zotz@ut-sally, riddle%im4u@ut-sally