tom (04/09/83)
Dear Freeze Supporter,
Has your government been giving your demands for a nuclear arms freeze the
"cold shoulder" treatment? Well, a group of scientists at Bingo University in
Utah say they have the answer: It's an amazing new scientific process called
Cryogenics, and it's the hottest thing since dry ice! Seems they take some-
body with creeping senility or some other affliction, stick 'em in the cooler
for awhile, and keep 'em frozen 'til they find a cure.
If you've really tried, and you're getting nowhere with the nuclear freeze,
isn't it time to ask yourself: Why not freeze Reagan/Bush in '84 and get right
down to the cause of the problem?
The Tip of the Iceberg
While this important research is underway, it is by no means complete. The
Soviets, using data obtained from the deep-freeze research facilities in
Siberia, are in the lead in this vital race. What is known in top-level
circles as the "Hammer and Popsicle Report" reveals how virtually any great
leader, President, or their friends can be frozen using techniques far superior
to those allowed for by our present National Defense policy.
By this time, you must be asking yourself, "Well, what's holding us back?
Why can't our leaders meet the deep-freeze challenge?" Unfortunately, public
confidence in this nation's leadership is at an all-time low, and getting the
American people to support high-level programs like this is extremely
difficult. But with your help, with your support, with your commitment, Reagan
and Bush can be frozen. Nancy can be frozen, Watto too.
That way, if we ever do have a war, we can thaw the whole crew out to fight
it.
What Will It Take?
Concerned citizens are aksing, "What can I do right now? If it were only
a matter of money... or prayer... I could see this dream through, and never
have to leave my television." But it takes more. We have to show the
President that we support the FREEZE REAGAN/BUSH CAMPAIGN, and that we won't
stop until the entire Administration is put on ice!
(Yippie!!)