flinn@seismo.UUCP (01/27/84)
The following appeared in the Washington Post, January 27, 1984, under the byline of Richard Cohen: AN ANNOTATED VERSION OF THE 1984 STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS "Once again, in keeping with time-honored tradition, I have come to report to you on the State of the Nation." It's not so good. We have a whopping budget deficit of $200 billion with no real chance of bringing it down, troops in Lebanon that serve no purpose, no meaningful discussions under way with the Soviet Union, unemployment at more than 8%, a dollar so bloated we don't stand a chance in international trade, troops in Central America, and a tax system that favors the rich. God bless America. Pessimists, Democrats, and people who can read are likely to be critical. That is understandable - but un-American. They do not understand that I have cut taxes, and "simple fairness dictates that government must not raise taxes on families struggling to pay their bills." This holds also for families who are rolling in dough. What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. I am aware of the problems facing Americans and therefore I propose a bold program. I will launch a space station. I am not sure what this will do for anyone and when I say, "Just as the oceans opened up a new world for clipper ships and Yankee traders, space holds enormous potential for commerce today," I should not be taken too seriously. After all, as far as we know there is no one out there to trade with, unless it is Darth Vader. Still, it was a nice phrase and I thought I would keep it in. God bless America. There should be prayer in the schools. And money does schools no good. "A 600% increase on education [spending] between 1960 and 1980 was accompanied by a steady decline in SAT scores." That must mean something, huh? I know it does not take into account inflation and money spent on programs that have nothing to do with raising SAT scores - like educating the handicapped. And of course this was the era when we made a sincere attempt to educate minority-group kids who were hard to teach, and we did this with some success. The scores are now going up. God bless America. There has to be more discipline in the schools. Recently, my own commission on school discipline issued a report with all sorts of concocted statistics that have been challenged by educators of every political stripe. I believe it anyway. Our statistics show that an incredible 1.3% of all kids are assaulted monthly. Sometimes this amounts to nothing more than a shove, and anyway, everyone knows our figures are dated and the situation has improved. Even so, this proves something. Another commission will tell us what. God bless commissions. We need a balanced-budget amendment even though up until just before this speech I said the deficit was nothing to worry about. I even said that when the economy improves, the deficit will narrow. Now I have sort of changed my mind (have you seen those figures!) and I am willing to meet Congress halfway. We will both appoint a commission and send it into space where it can swap the deficit with whatever's out there. Talking of the deficit, I am in favor of school prayer. "Each day you Members of Congress ... begin your day with a member of the clergy standing right before you." So there. Of course, you're adults and not school kids, and no one is compelled to serve in Congress, and few of you arrive early enough to hear the sermon anyway, but I must have a point in there somewhere. God bless America anyway. Did you know that in 1983 "women filled 73% of all new jobs in managerial, profession, and technical fields?" That must prove something. Notice that I said "fields." We all know women were not the managers themselves - they just worked for them. A lot of them worked in "technical" fields assembling computers at about the minimum wage. That they even did this was a miracle, considering my position on comparable wages and the ERA. Let me say something about civil rights. There's room for it in space, too. And I would be remiss if I did not say something about Central America and Lebanon. There, I said it. Anyway, I have another serviceman I have discovered. He fought in Granada. Now, is there someone else in the balcony? No? God bless America.
jj@rabbit.UUCP (01/27/84)
Ahhh. Flynn! How you LOVE to put your own self-serving opinions in someone else's mouth. Since you can't stand success, even in a limited fashion, you have to try to make us believe your own doublespeak. <1984 indeed. You should certainly understand, given your "paraphrasing" of the state of the Onion address. > You would appear to believe that More is Less! <Yes, that's backwards, but that's what you're trying to say.> Bah! -- TEDDY BEARS ARE PEOPLE, TOO! (allegra,harpo,ulysses)!rabbit!jj
ken@ihuxq.UUCP (ken perlow) (01/27/84)
>>> You would appear to believe that >>> More is Less! <Yes, that's backwards, but that's what you're >>> trying to say.> >>> Bah! >>> -- >>> TEDDY BEARS ARE PEOPLE, TOO! >>> (allegra,harpo,ulysses)!rabbit!jj Of course more is less: More for you, jj, and me, and probably Flynn too; less for a large number of already too poor people who, if they haven't completely given up, will most likely--and this is quite fortunate for us--vent their justifiable rage on each other. After all, riots can really scratch the finish on your Mercedes. Anyone who believes that the balancing of economic democracy and social democracy will fall out from trickle-down is liable to believe anything a sincere-sounding, soft-eyed actor says, especially after he cocks his head oh so knowingly. This is 1984, where war is peace, or at least an MX is a peace-keeper, and trees are polluters, so I guess teddy bears are people, too. -- *** *** JE MAINTIENDRAI ***** ***** ****** ****** 27 Jan 84 [8 Pluviose An CXCII] ken perlow ***** ***** (312)979-7261 ** ** ** ** ..ihnp4!ihuxq!ken *** ***