smeier@ihuxt.UUCP (S. Meier) (03/20/84)
Does it bother you when ABC, CBS, and NBC announce the winner of an election before a single vote has been counted? Do you wonder why you should bother to vote when everyone knows who's going to win days before the election? Now you can fight back! Here's how: Always Lie To Pollsters. Especially those conducting exit polls, as they must assume that what you tell them corresponds to a real vote. You have no obligation, legal or moral, to tell anyone the truth about your vote. Your ballot is secret. So make something up. If you vote for Mondale, tell them you voted for Jackson, or Hart. If you vote Republican, tell them you voted Democratic or Libertarian. Of course, not everyone gets polled. In fact, a ridiculously small number of people are asked. This means that your lie counts a great deal, especially in a close race. Just screwing up their margin of error by a few percent could cause them to embarass themselves and lose any shred of credibility they now have. They might start getting nervous about calling elections so early. They are already getting nervous here in Illinois. Columnist Mike Royko of the Chicago Tribune has been urging the voters to lie for the past week or so. Many pollsters are now asking the question, "Do you read Royko's column?" Of course, voters are urged to lie in response to this question also. So, on election day, remember: Every Lie Counts!
dyer@vaxuum.DEC (Where's the falafel?) (03/22/84)
\~/ ~News Flash from Jym Dyer!~ \~/
Lying to pollsters might have some interesting effects. But sup-
pose you vote for (say) Jesse Jackson and you tell the pollsters you didn't.
Well, the news will come out that Jesse Jackson isn't doing so good, and
everybody who hears it will figure it's futile to vote for him and they'll
vote for somebody else.
In other words, if you don't tell the truth, you might be endanger-
ing your candidate's chances!
I think the best approach is simply not to tell the pollsters
anything. That is your right, isn't it?
<_Jym_>
| Jym Dyer | DEC | Nashua, NH | ...{allegra,decvax}!decwrl!rhea!vaxuum!dyer |
Thu 22-Mar-1984 10:11 Zen (not EST!) Time