band@ccivax.UUCP (Bill Anderson) (05/14/84)
A White House Aptitude Test
(Taken from TRB(tm)'s column (p. 6) in the May 21, 1984 issue
of The New Republic.)
In this column, TRB takes a shot at the alleged ignorance of
Mr. Reagan (and some of the people vying for Paul Tsongas
senate seat from Mass.) with respect to world affairs and
our government involvement therein. The following is offered
as a minimum aptitude test for the President (and other
public officials). I thought is was good for me too!
Disclaimer: Some questions are loaded, and the supplied
answers clearly show TRB's political views. But the test
is fun nonetheless.
1. You have sent thousands of American troops to support Honduran
democracy. Can you name the President, the leading political
party, or the date of the last election in Honduras?
2. Within 10 percent, what is the poverty line for a family of four?
3. Who is your Secretary of Energy?
4. What are the freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment?
5. Who is the head of East Germany? (Hint: sounds like a Jewish
holiday.)
6. Of the following three social programs -- WIC, CETA, student loans --
which has been eliminated, which has shrunk, and which has grown
during your administration? What are WIC and CETA anyway?
7. In brief, what is the difference between Eden Pastora and
Ruben Zamora?
8. Within one point, what is the percentage of Hispanics in the
U.S. population?
9. Your administration believes that a 600-ship Navy is vital
to our national security. How many ships do we have now?
10. What is parity? Are you for it or against it?
Bonus question: What are the names of your grandchildren?
And now for the answers:
1. President Roberto Suazo Cordova, Liberal Party, November 1981.
2. $9,862
3. Donald Hodel
4. Religion, speech, press, assembly, petition for redress of
grievances.
5. Party Chairman Erich Honecker.
6. CETA (jobs) has been eliminated, student loans has shrunk,
WIC (child nutrition) has grown.
7. Eden Pastora is the social democratic rebel we support in
Nicaragua; Ruben Zamora is the social democratic rebel we
oppose in El Salvador.
8. 6 1/2 percent.
9. 525
10. Parity is the absurd proposition that farm products should
have the same value relative to nonfarm products that they
had in 1914-1918. All politicians are for it.
Bonus: Cameron and Ashley Marie.
How to interpret your score:
9-10: Congratulations. You are qualified to be President.
7-8: You can be a Senator, but only on the Intelligence
Committee.
5-6: You can be a Congressman from an obscure district in
a large state.
3-4: You're lucky to be a state legislator.
0-2: You are pig-ignorant. Stick to journalism.
--
Bill Anderson
...!{ {ucbvax | decvax}!allegra!rlgvax }!ccivax!band