mck@ratex.UUCP (Daniel Kian Mc Kiernan) (02/27/85)
A number of users have suggested that Libertarians want to do away
with government intervention in order to become rich. I'm going to give
you the low-down -- only because I'm sure that there's no way that you can
stop me.
After a Libertarian program is installed, Exxon, GM, Mobil, IBM,
Texaco, Du Pont, the Standard Oils, Ford, Atlantic Richfield, GE, Shell,
Gulf, US Steel, and Tenneco will, of course, merge into one huge company.
When this occurs, I will make my move. Thru my specialization in
cliometrics, I have come to know more about the issuances of Continental
Bills of Credit than any other living person; having such a monopoly, I
will force this huge corporation to pay me $1,957,253.68 for this
information. The corporation, in turn, will only sell this information to
those who can pay its exhorbitant prices, thus further immiserating the
proletariat -- which sets things up for my next move. I will force these
desperate workers to do further research for me (including a meticulous
reconstruction of the supply of state-bank notes from 1863 to 1867),
paying them starvation wages so that they gradually weaken and die (not, of
course, before their usefulness to me has ended). This information -- in
effect expropriated from the masses -- will give me further control of the
economy, and I plan to take-over the mega-corporation and thus the country.
Meanwhile, I fully expect that Laura Creighton will have turned Canada into
her own personal economic fiefdom; I will induce her to join forces with me
an take-over the rest of the world.
Nyah ha ha ha ha!
Driven by inhuman cupidity,
Daniel Kian Mc Kiernan
PS: Don't tell Laura, but first chance that I get, I'm going to stab her in
the back so that I can have the whole thing to myself!moriarty@fluke.UUCP (The Napoleon of Crime) (02/28/85)
Cripes! Seems like everybody and their maiden Grandmother is trying to
enslave mankind in a web of deceit and violence. How about some
consideration for those of us who've been trying to get it done for the last
century? You think it's been EASY working with a bunch of dim-witted
Satanist Wombats who have to be hyped up on gum tree leaves before they even
begin to think about doing work? You think it's FUN to have to go into
labor negotiations with H.U.N. (The Henchman's United Network) for hired
help every three weeks? You think it's REWARDING to see a really wonderful
plot turn to naught because T.H.R.U.S.H. or S.P.E.C.T.R.E. the NFL use it
first? And now we've got some overblown Libertarion accountants going hog
wild! Listen, folks, I've installed administrations before, and once
they've been elected, they NEVER follow orders. They don't even return
phone calls!
You know, it's days like this that I feel like chucking the whole bit and
becoming a golf pro. Maybe I'll cut back my workload a little and just do a
few Crimes of the Century for the next few months.
"He is the Napoleon of Crime, Watson..."
Moriarty, aka Jeff Meyer
John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc.
UUCP:
{cornell,decvax,ihnp4,sdcsvax,tektronix,utcsrgv}!uw-beaver \
{allegra,gatech!sb1,hplabs!lbl-csam,decwrl!sun,ssc-vax} -- !fluke!moriarty
ARPA:
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