mathnews@watdcsu.UUCP (mathNEWS) (03/27/85)
From _The Official Rules_, compiled by Paul Dickson
o Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere.
Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group.
o Republicans consume three-fourths of the rutabaga produced in the
USA. The remainder is thrown out.
o Republicans usually wear hats and almost always clean their paint
brushes.
o Democrats give their worn-out clothes to those less fortunate.
Republicans wear theirs.
o Republicans employ exterminators. Democrats step on the bugs.
o Democrats name their children after currently popular sports
figures, politicians and entertainers. Republican children
are named after their parents or grandparents, according to
where the money is.
o Democrats keep trying to cut down on smoking but are not
successful. Neither are Republicans.
o Republicans tend to keep their shades drawn, although there is
seldom any reason why they should. Democrats ought to, but don't.
o Republicans study the financial pages of the newspaper.
Democrats put them in the bottom of the bird cage.
o Most of the stuff alongside the road has been thrown out of car
windows by Democrats.
o Republicans raise dahlias, Dalmatians and eyebrows.
Democrats raise Airedales, kids and taxes.
o Democrats eat the fish they catch. Republicans hang them on the wall.
o Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry
Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first.
o Democrats make up plans and then do something else.
Republicans follow the plans their grandfathers made.
o Republicans sleep in twin beds--some even in separate rooms.
That is why there are more Democrats.
(Document submitted and published in the _Congressional Record_,
October 1, 1974, by Rep. Craig Hosmer [R-CA]. Hosmer said that the
author chose to remain anonymous.)
regards,
dwarf
--
"Damn the integrals, full speed ahead!"
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