jcjeff@ihlpg.UUCP (jeffreys) (03/05/85)
>Subject: Re: opinion poll for worst song ever! I don't know why this is put into net.misc, may be it ought to be put into net.music. (see net.misc for previous contenders) If you want bad records, try listening to this one: Here is the contents of an album called Teenage Tragedy on Rhino Records dated 1984 (RNC-611) It I think contains probably some the worst tracks ever cut: Endless Sleep - Jody Reynolds Teen Angel - Mark Dining Tell Laura I Love Her - Ray Peterson Leader of the Pack - The Shangri-Las Patches - Dickie Lee Last Kiss - J. Frank Wilson I Want My Baby Back - Jimmy Cross (My Favorite - not just bad but really sick) I Can Never Go Home Anymore - The Shangri-Las Homecomming Queen's Got A Gun - Julie Brown Beat that....... -- [ You called all the way from America - Joan Armatrading ] [ You're never alone with a rubber duck - Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy ] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ || From the keys of Richard Jeffreys ( British Citizen Overseas ) || || @ AT&T Bell Laboratories, Naperville, Illinois || ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ || General disclamer about anything and everything that I may have typed. || ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
vanhall.wbst@XEROX.ARPA (03/06/85)
A friend of mine owns a record shop locally where I spotted this gem in the "Why'd they bother" bin: a 45 by Herve Villechase(tatoo from fantasy island). Or maybe Lorne Greene talking his way through two sides of an lp, or maybe any of the versions of "Hey Joe" by various unknown artists, or maybe... Don
kenw@lcuxc.UUCP (K Wolman) (03/06/85)
Jeffreys' list is pretty good. But how in the world could anyone forget ANYTHING performed by that past Master of the Musical Emetic, BOBBY GOLDSBORO? -- Ken Wolman Bell Communications Research @ Livingston, NJ lcuxc!kenw You can't "read" me because I'm not a book.
greg@tut.UUCP (greg) (03/08/85)
Have you heard "Mr. Moonlight" by The Beatles? Although I am an avid British Invasion Rock-n-Roller with the Beatles on top of the heap, THIS surely ranks as a truely BAD cut.
cmoore@BRL-VLD.ARPA (VLD/VMB) (03/12/85)
"Mr. Moonlight" is 6th (last) cut on side 1 of Beatles '65 LP; 6th of 7 on side 1 of Beatles for Sale (Parlophone label, England). Didn't they do that song at the Cavern and/or in Hamburg?
cv@linus.UUCP (Chris Valas) (03/12/85)
-=-
Unquestionably the most GODAWFUL piece of CRAP I *ever* heard was
a song by an Australian band called 'Derek and the Wrecks.' An
announcer comes on and introduces a gentleman by the name of
'Chuck Solids.' Some terrible intro music is followed by this guy
singing to a girl, telling her how much she moves him and how much
he needs her, and will she come back to....ULP, URCH,...come back
to his pla...RETCH, HEAVE.... That's right, folks, this guy
(Chuck Solids, natch) starts to vomit uncontrollably with many splashing
sounds (bile on the floor/surroundings, presumably) and *continues*
trying to seduce the girl, punctuating his lines more and more freq-
uently with polysyllabic retchings. This is *everybody's* nightmare
party guest. The sounds are so vividly lifelike I almost blew
chunks myself when I first heard it.
This song has taken first place in the Worst Song of the Year Contest, held by
some radio station in Sydney, Australia, for two years running! The
telephone vote tally favored it over its nearest competitor by greater
than a two-to-one margin....the switchboard went CRAZY.
Need I say more? I thought not...
-=-
Chris J. Valas {decvax,utzoo,philabs,security,allegra,genrad}!linus!cv
-=-
In the autumn, before the winter, comes mans' last mad surge of youth...dbrown@watarts.UUCP (Dave Brown) (03/15/85)
> "They'er comming to take me away - ha ha". This gem hit most > requested song one summer in the mid-sixties. This song was > so bad that the only thing they could find to go on the flip > side was the same song recorded backward ! > > Randy Dietrich > Wilsonville, Oregon, USA Is the first instance of backward masking????????? HORRORS!!!!!!!!!! Oh, by the way; for anyone who flames me over the distribution over four nets, it's a sad day when people flame a bit of levity. Sincerely yours, DAVE BROWN
cff@uvaee.UUCP (Chuck Ferrara) (03/17/85)
> "They'er comming to take me away - ha ha". This gem hit most > requested song one summer in the mid-sixties. This song was > so bad that the only thing they could find to go on the flip > side was the same song recorded backward ! > > Randy Dietrich > Wilsonville, Oregon, USA Does anyone happen to know the rest of the lyrics for this "song". You know, about "the nice young men in clean white suits", etc.
ben@moncol.UUCP (Bennett Broder) (03/18/85)
I don't remember who does this, but there was a song that got some
airplay on college and cult stations a few years back called
'Warm Leatherette'. It was a monotanous and repetitive piece of
music, and the lyrics described simultaneously having an orgasm and
a car crash. The only other song I have ever heard by them had
something to do with television--I dont remember the details, but it
was nearly as stupid as Warm Leatherette.
Ben Broder
..vax135!petsd!moncol!ben
..pesnta!moncol!ben
..princeton!moncol!benwab@reed.UUCP (William Baker) (03/22/85)
> I don't remember who does this, but there was a song that got some > airplay on college and cult stations a few years back called > 'Warm Leatherette'. It was a monotanous and repetitive piece of > music, and the lyrics described simultaneously having an orgasm and > a car crash. The only other song I have ever heard by them had > something to do with television--I dont remember the details, but it > was nearly as stupid as Warm Leatherette. > > Ben Broder > ..vax135!petsd!moncol!ben > ..pesnta!moncol!ben > ..princeton!moncol!ben How can anyone forget "Warm Leatherette"? I first heard it in my dorm during my first semester of college. The crazy dope freak sophomore (perhaps I shouldn't call him crazy;last I heard he had $10,000 worth of working capital tied up in his drug dealing) down the hall from me used to play it at top volume at 7am on a Saturday morning. Drove everyone crazy. The man responsible for the atrocity we know as "Warm Leatherette"? Iggy Pop, the same person who wrote the theme for "Repo Man". I like the movie theme much better... Bill Baker tektronix!reed!wab
hutch@shark.UUCP (Stephen Hutchison) (03/22/85)
< Straightjackets for line eaters > In article <234@uvaee.UUCP> cff@uvaee.UUCP (Chuck Ferrara) writes: >> "They'er comming to take me away - ha ha". This gem hit most >> requested song one summer in the mid-sixties. This song was >> so bad that the only thing they could find to go on the flip >> side was the same song recorded backward ! >> >> Randy Dietrich >> Wilsonville, Oregon, USA > > >Does anyone happen to know the rest of the lyrics for this "song". >You know, about "the nice young men in clean white suits", etc. From memory: "They're coming to take me away" as performed by Napoleon the 14th: Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not to go because I'd go berserk? WELL, You left me anyhow, and then the days got worse and worse and now you see I've gone completely out of my mind, AND (chorus 1) They're coming to take me away, haha, they're coming to take me away, ho ho, heehee, ha ha, to the funny farm where Life is Beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those Nice Young Men in their Clean White Coats and they're coming to take me AWAY, HA HAAAAA You thought it was a joke, and so you LAUGHED, YOU LAUGHED when I had said that losing you would make me flip my lid, RIGHT? You know you laughed. I HEARD you laugh, you laughed and laughed and laughed and then you left, and now you see I'm Utterly Mad AND (chorus 2) They're coming to take me away, haha, they're coming to take me away, ho ho, heehee, ha ha, to the Happy Home with Trees and Flowers and Chirping Birds and basket weavers who sit and smile and Twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're Coming to Take me Away, HAHAAAAAAAAA Well, you just wait, they'll get you yet, and when they do, they'll put you in the ASPCA, you mangy MUTT, AND (chorus 1) (chorus 2) (chorus 1 trailing into mumbles in the distance)
daveb@rtech.ARPA (Dave Brower) (03/23/85)
I nominate "Free Bird."
--
{ucbvax, decvax}!mtxinu \
ihnp4!amdahl / !rtech!daveb
"If it worked, we wouldn't call it High Tech"black@unc.UUCP (Samuel Black) (03/26/85)
Definitely anything by Michael Jackson.
- sam black
D.R.E.A.D. Gold Card Holder
(D.R.E.A.D. = Detroit Rockers Engaged in the Abolition of Disco)techpub@mhuxt.UUCP (mcgrew) (03/26/85)
> < Straightjackets for line eaters > > > From memory: > > "They're coming to take me away" as performed by Napoleon the 14th: > > Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees > and begged you not > to go because I'd go berserk? . . . Now that we know the words to side A of the single... how 'bout telling us about side B... :-) Melanie
meister@faron.UUCP (Philip W. Servita) (03/27/85)
You left something out.... In article <1293@shark.UUCP> hutch@shark.UUCP (Stephen Hutchison) writes: >< Straightjackets for line eaters > >In article <234@uvaee.UUCP> cff@uvaee.UUCP (Chuck Ferrara) writes: > >From memory: > >"They're coming to take me away" as performed by Napoleon the 14th: > >Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees >and begged you not >to go because I'd go berserk? > >WELL, > >You left me anyhow, and then the days got worse and >worse and now you see I've gone completely out >of my mind, > >AND > >(chorus 1) >They're coming to take me away, haha, they're >coming to take me away, ho ho, heehee, ha ha, >to the funny farm where Life is Beautiful all the time >and I'll be happy to see >those Nice Young Men in their Clean >White Coats and they're coming to take me AWAY, HA HAAAAA > >You thought it was a joke, and so you LAUGHED, >YOU LAUGHED when I had said that losing you would make >me flip my lid, RIGHT? > >You know you laughed. I HEARD you laugh, you >laughed and laughed and laughed and then you >left, and now you see I'm Utterly Mad > >AND > >(chorus 2) >They're coming to take me away, haha, they're >coming to take me away, ho ho, heehee, ha ha, >to the Happy Home with Trees and Flowers and >Chirping Birds and >basket weavers who sit and smile and >Twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're >Coming to Take me Away, HAHAAAAAAAAA I cooked your food I cleaned your house And this is how you pay me back for all my kind unselfish loving deeds RIGHT? >Well, you just wait, they'll get you yet, and >when they do, they'll put you in >the ASPCA, you mangy MUTT, > >AND > >(chorus 1) >(chorus 2) >(chorus 1 trailing into mumbles in the distance) -- --------------------------------------------------------------------- is anything really trash before you throw it away? ---------------------------------------------------------------------
coffin@mot.UUCP (Chris Coffin) (03/28/85)
The B side of the're coming to take me away was the same song ... backwards... with the groove starting on the inside of the record!!! Chris Coffin (they've already taken me away.)
purtell@reed.UUCP (Lady Godiva) (03/29/85)
There is one song that is so horrible that I almost like it. I don't remeber the name of it, nor the name of the performer. The first line was - "Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz". Does anyone remember the rest of it? elizabeth purtell (Lady Godiva)
crm@duke.UUCP (Charlie Martin) (03/31/85)
I normally *detest* this kind of message, honest, ... but what *is* "they're coming to take me away" doing in net.religion? -- Opinions stated here. Charlie Martin (...mcnc!duke!crm)
ndiamond@watdaisy.UUCP (Norman Diamond) (03/31/85)
> There is one song that is so horrible that I almost like it. I don't > remeber the name of it, nor the name of the performer. The first > line was - > "Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz". I think it was Liza Minelli, or however she spells her name. If the Lord really cared for her, he would show it. (Kind of pointless, though; if the Lord really cared for anyone, there are lots of more obvious things he would do to show it.) No, I don't know the words. -- Norman Diamond UUCP: {decvax|utzoo|ihnp4|allegra}!watmath!watdaisy!ndiamond CSNET: ndiamond%watdaisy@waterloo.csnet ARPA: ndiamond%watdaisy%waterloo.csnet@csnet-relay.arpa "Opinions are those of the keyboard, and do not reflect on me or higher-ups."
sra@oddjob.UUCP (Scott R. Anderson) (04/01/85)
In article <> purtell@reed.UUCP (Lady Godiva) writes: > >There is one song that is so horrible that I almost like it. I don't >remeber the name of it, nor the name of the performer. The first >line was - >"Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz". >Does anyone remember the rest of it? > The song is called "Mercedes Benz", and it was written and performed by Janis Joplin. I don't think this song is horrible; it is indeed of "great social and political import" (:-) The lyrics are: ***** Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz, My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends, Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends, So, oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz. Oh Lord, won't you buy me a color TV, Dialing for Dollars is trying to find me, I'll wait for delivery each day until three, So, oh Lord, won't you buy me a color TV. Oh Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town, I'm counting on you, Lord, please don't let me down, Prove that you love me, and buy the next round, So, oh Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town. ***** That Janis, she was an all time great! Scott Anderson ihnp4!oddjob!kaos P.S. One more vote for net.music.dead!
lee@unmvax.UUCP (04/01/85)
> > There is one song that is so horrible that I almost like it. I don't > remeber the name of it, nor the name of the performer. The first > line was - > "Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz". > Does anyone remember the rest of it? > > elizabeth purtell > > (Lady Godiva) Boy, you people... Everybody flames the 60's I guess... Oh well, this is one song at that has at least one fan. The song was written by: J. Joplin & M. McClure It is called: Mercedez Benz It goes (from a live version): (I'd like to do a song of great social and political import. It goes like this...) Oh lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz My friends all drive Porches I must make amends worked hard all my life time no help from my friends So oh lord won't you buy me a Mercedez Benz Oh lord won't you buy me a color TV Dialing for dollars is trying to find me I'll wait for delivery each day until three So oh lord won't you buy me a night on the town I'm counting on you lord please don't let me down Prove that you love me and buy the next round Oh lord won't you buy me a night on the town (.......That's it!) You didn't like "The Rose" either, did you? --Lee (Ward) {ucbvax,pur-ee,gatech}!unmvax!lee
alle@ihuxb.UUCP (Marguerite Czajka) (04/01/85)
> > There is one song that is so horrible that I almost like it. I don't > remeber the name of it, nor the name of the performer. The first > line was - > "Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz". > Does anyone remember the rest of it? > > elizabeth purtell > > (Lady Godiva) The song is by Janis Joplin. I'm not sure of the title - it may just be Mercedes Benz.
stein@druny.UUCP (SteinDW) (04/01/85)
I believe the title of the song is "Mercedes-Benz" by Janis Joplin off the "Pearl" album. Here is a half-hearted stab at the lyrics: Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz? My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends. Worked hard all my lifetime, No help from my friends, So, Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz? Oh Lord, won't you buy me a color T.V.? Dialing for dollars is trying to find me. I wait every day for delivery until three, Oh Lord won't you buy me a color T.V.? Oh Lord, Won't you buy me a night on the town? I'm counting on you Lord, Please don't let me down. Prove that you love me and buy the next round. Oh Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town? Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz? My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends. Worked hard all my lifetime, No help from my friends, So, Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz? I am sure that the above lyrics are copyright protected and either ASCAP or BMI but I didn't happen to bring my album collection to work this morining. Don Stein druny!stein "Sure don't know what I'm going for, but I'm going to go for it, for sure!"
nunes@utai.UUCP (Joe Nunes) (04/01/85)
> > There is one song that is so horrible that I almost like it. I don't > remeber the name of it, nor the name of the performer. The first > line was - > "Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz". > Does anyone remember the rest of it? > > elizabeth purtell > > (Lady Godiva) The song you refer to was sung by Janis Joplin and is called (I think) "Mercedes Benz". I don't remember all the lyrics but here goes: O Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz my friends all drive Porsches, I must make ammends worked hard all my life, no help from my friends O Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz O Lord won't you buy me a colour T.V. "Dialing for Dollars" is trying to reach me . . . . . . O Lord won't you buy me a night on the town . . . . . . . . . P.S: I don't think it's that horrible a song
barb@pyuxa.UUCP (04/01/85)
Do I remember it --- it used to be my theme song! Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz My friends all drive Porches, I must make amends. Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends. So Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz Lord won't you buy me a color TV Dialing for Dollars is trying to find me I wait for delivery each day until three So Lord won't you buy me a color TV Lord won't you buy me a night on the town I'm counting on your Lord please don't let me down Prove that you love me and by the next ring(?) Lord won't you buy me a night on the town. The following was recorded by the late, great Janis Joplin featured on her album "Pearl."
srm@nsc.UUCP (Richard Mateosian) (04/01/85)
In article <1200@reed.UUCP> purtell@reed.UUCP (Lady Godiva) writes: >"Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz". >Does anyone remember the rest of it? Janis Joplin sang this on "Pearl". As best I remember, it went Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends ..... Oh Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz Oh Lord, won't you buy me a color TV Dialing for Dollars is trying to reach me I'll wait for delivery each day until three Oh Lord, won't you buy me a color TV Oh lord won't you buy me a night on the town I'm counting on you Lord, oh please don't let me down ..... Oh lord won't you buy me a night on the town He he he. That's it. I'm sure I'll remember the rest as soon as I post this. -- Richard Mateosian {allegra,cbosgd,decwrl,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo}!nsc!srm nsc!srm@decwrl.ARPA
karsh@geowhiz.UUCP (Bruce Karsh) (04/03/85)
> There is one song that is so horrible that I almost like it. I don't > remeber the name of it, nor the name of the performer. The first > line was - > "Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz". > Does anyone remember the rest of it? Is this posting a joke? Doesn't everybody know that Janis Joplin did this one? -- Bruce Karsh | U. Wisc. Dept. Geology and Geophysics | 1215 W Dayton, Madison, WI 53706 | This space for rent. (608) 262-1697 | {ihnp4,seismo}!uwvax!geowhiz!karsh |
bcr@ccivax.UUCP (Barry Ruff) (04/03/85)
> I believe the title of the song is "Mercedes-Benz" by Janis Joplin off > the "Pearl" album. Gee, would anyone like to see the lyrics a sixth time??? :-)
gda@unc.UUCP (Greg Abram) (04/03/85)
Someone asked for the rest of this... I really disagree with its listing among the all-time worst. I'm kind of fond of it. After all, its a song of great social and political import. Goes like this. .... Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz, My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends; Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends, Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a color TV Dialing for Dollars is trying to find me. I'll wait for delivery each day until 3 Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a color TV Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town I'm counting on you, Lord, please don't let me down. Prove that you love me and buy the next round. Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town (Repeat first)
js2j@mhuxt.UUCP (sonntag) (04/03/85)
> > There is one song that is so horrible that I almost like it. I don't > remeber the name of it, nor the name of the performer. The first > line was - > "Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz". > Does anyone remember the rest of it? > > elizabeth purtell > (Lady Godiva) I think that was done by Janice Joplin. Some more lyrics: "O Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz? My friends all drive Porches. I must make amends. Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends. So Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz? O Lord, won't you buy me a color TV? ....." That's all I remember. The singer, (I think it's Janice) does it in a really strange kind of gravelley, scratchy voice. I've just remembered another similar old song. Maybe someone can identify the performer: "I don't care if it rains or freezes, as long as I've got my plastic Jesus, riding on the dashboard of my car. I can go ninety miles an hour, as long as I got that magic power..." and once again, I forget the rest. -- Jeff Sonntag ihnp4!mhuxt!js2j "No, not bird, nor plane, nor even frog. Just little old me, <crash> UNDERDOG!"- not Idi Ahmin
hutch@shark.UUCP (Stephen Hutchison) (04/04/85)
[Incredulous with shlock] In article <1200@reed.UUCP> purtell@reed.UUCP (Lady Godiva) writes: > >There is one song that is so horrible that I almost like it. I don't >remeber the name of it, nor the name of the performer. The first >line was - >"Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz". >Does anyone remember the rest of it? > >elizabeth purtell > >(Lady Godiva) Well, since nobody else seems to have replied, I guess I have to tell you. The song was performed by Janis Joplin, her of the raunchy voice. I don't know if it is her handiwork entire, but it DOES seem to need the whiney overtone she gave it to be really effective. It's a rather scathing indictment of the "gimme generation", the number of materialistic fools who were common at the time (and sadly, more common now, especially at Reed (no offense, I am not pointing fingers at anyone in particular)). The first line is "Oh Lord, won'cha buy me, A Mercedez Benz, Mah friends all have Porsches, Ah Must make A-Mends!" And it continues... But I don't remember all the words hutch
ndiamond@watdaisy.UUCP (Norman Diamond) (04/04/85)
> > "Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz". > > Doesn't everybody know that Janis Joplin did this one? We all do NOW. We all did, after the first dozen or so messages on it. Yes, I made a mistake (because I remembered the kind of voice that was used in singing the song). Two mail messages and 20 postings have corrected and corrected and ... and corrected me. Unusually enough, none of them has been a mis-correction! Old net topics never die, and they never fade away. -- Norman Diamond UUCP: {decvax|utzoo|ihnp4|allegra}!watmath!watdaisy!ndiamond CSNET: ndiamond%watdaisy@waterloo.csnet ARPA: ndiamond%watdaisy%waterloo.csnet@csnet-relay.arpa "Opinions are those of the keyboard, and do not reflect on me or higher-ups."
man@bocar.UUCP (M Nevar) (04/06/85)
Worst song ever ? How about Revolution #9 ? Played forwards, of course. Backwards it's Top 40 all the way. Another choice: You know my name (look up the number) Once considered to be an A-side (:-) Mark Nevar
rm@ptsfb.UUCP (Roger Magoulas) (04/08/85)
In article <729@mhuxt.UUCP> js2j@mhuxt.UUCP (sonntag) writes: > I've just remembered another similar old song. Maybe someone can identify >the performer: > > "I don't care if it rains or freezes, > as long as I've got my plastic Jesus, > riding on the dashboard of my car. > > I can go ninety miles an hour, > as long as I got that magic power..." and once again, I forget the >rest. That song was played by Don Imus on WNBC in New York when he did his Rev. Billy Sol Hargess (sp) routine. F. Scott Whalebone