arndt@lymph.DEC (08/06/85)
A doctor just back from the good ole USSR writes in the current American
Medical Assoc. Journal that we and they should exchange 250,000 students
as hostages against the threat of nuke war. (Perhaps there IS something
in the water in Leningrad besides the Trotsky Trots) What a great idea!
I have a few canidates to go right in the front of my mind although he says
they should be chosen by lottery for a two year stint.
Well, it's not such a bad idea at that. A great way to make screaming
American patriots our of poor material. I've seen it happen myself. At
the end of every summer (3) as the plane's wheels touched down in NYC
the students spontaneously broke into song ("God Bless America"). It
was thrilling. And I didn't even start it off by humming, gang. I've
seen students kiss the ground in Finland after coming across the border
from the worker's paradise! It was compared to coming up for air.
But things are lookin' bad for the doom dummies. I mean Ron has shown us
the way, eh? The mood is up! And all that's left is to scare little kids
in school and wrap the Pentagon in ribbons to show 'concern' for peace.
Oh yes, and knock space defense. (Pass the coke - no not THAT classic
coke, the other!)
So what are things coming to? House Beautiful staff writers, inspired by
a letter from a worried housewife in Idaho start a campaign to exchange
furniture with households in the USSR - wouldn't want the Pentagon to bomb
grandma's old sideboy, would you?
Come to think of it I could use a Russian Serf around the back yard. Wonder
if you have to send one to get one? When not working he could stand under
the tree and wait for orders. Happy as a clam.
So what are YOU doing for PEACE!!!!
I'm starting an anti-movement movement called, "Don't give a shit for Peace!"
The idea is for every concerned citizen to hold their bowels till it hurts
for Peace. When everyone is walking around with cramps and a sour look on
their faces THEN maybe we'll DO something like tell the Russians we really,
really, really want Peace and the Pentagon to stop making' those naughty
naughty bombs (at the rate of five a day in the US!). I've had it with only
telling the Russians we only really, really want Peace! So come on gang!
Let's show 'em we mean business. Who'll take the pledge?? Show your concern
with a little constipation, it's the least you can do. Think of the future
generations who will sing your praises.
Let's organize. Buttons, T-shirts, posters, bumper stickers, a hand shake,
a scowl. Take all your toilet paper out and wrap it around the tree.
I always suspect they're not really serious at the disarm conferences when
I see them laughing and joking for the cameras. What the heck is REALLY goin'
on there? If we locked the Johns in Congress we'd get movement!!
I mean if the ladies of ancient Greece could hold tight for Peace why can't
we??? Hold it so future generations won't have to. This is a gut level
appeal for Peace.
I already have Rich Rosen's pledge in my file. (What a gesture, what with
him being so full of it!) Who's next??? If this catches on it may even
become a plank in the '88 democratic platform! (Since the homosexuals are
out.) Come on out of the closet all you anal retentives on the net! You
know who you are. Here's you opportunity to excell!
I can see chanting crowds around the Pentagon ("We don't give a shit for
Peace!") attacked by the police and force to take diarrheics. Of couse
-that's course, my fingers are trembling at the scene in the Theater of
My Mind - the ACLU will rush to your defense. The Supreme court will
sit in decision on the right of a citizen to hold out on the government,
"it's my body" will be the defense.
Well, I'll have to stop here. It's time to take off my save-the-world
suit (and special power boxer shorts) and go home to supper.
I've provided the idea, sorry I can't join you. Have to save my body for
thinking up more great ideas for world Peace you know. But I want you to
know I'll be with you in spirit as you suffer for Peace. Good luck and
remember, don't let go.
I will be available to receive the Nobel Peace prize next year.
Keep chargin'
Ken Arndtcher@ihlpm.UUCP (cherepov) (08/08/85)
> I'm starting an anti-movement movement called, "Don't give a shit for Peace!" > The idea is for every concerned citizen to hold their bowels till it hurts > for Peace. When everyone is walking around with cramps and a sour look on > their faces THEN maybe we'll DO something like tell the Russians we really, > really, really want Peace and the Pentagon to stop making' those naughty > naughty bombs I am not even laughing: the reality is so idiotic it outdoes any wildness of Ken Arndt's ironic visions! After recent ribbon-laying around Pentagon no absurdity is too much... Of course I make all the well-intentioned noises and disclaimers here. Mike Cherepov
tracy@ihuxl.UUCP (Kim) (08/08/85)
> > I'm starting an anti-movement movement called, "Don't give a shit for Peace!" > > > The idea is for every concerned citizen to hold their bowels till it hurts > > for Peace. When everyone is walking around with cramps and a sour look on > > their faces THEN maybe we'll DO something like tell the Russians we really, > > really, really want Peace and the Pentagon to stop making' those naughty > > naughty bombs > > I am not even laughing: the reality is so idiotic it outdoes any > wildness of Ken Arndt's ironic visions! > After recent ribbon-laying around Pentagon no absurdity is too much... > > Of course I make all the well-intentioned noises and disclaimers here. > Mike Cherepov Of course the reality is idiotic, but the reality is certainly not humorous. This article, I thought was humorous. Not only that, but it was well-written and fun to read. But to keep our sanity about this sometimes we have to laugh about it. Perhaps you do not think it helps to laugh about these terrible things from time to time. I think that it is invaluable, as long as one realizes the seriousness of the problem. Sometimes humorous comments about these things are entirely out of place. I am thinking about Reagan's comment before his radio show when he said something like "We're going to start bombing in 5 minutes". Now, this comment worries me. For one reason, he has the power to do such a thing and for another he intended it to be funny. This comment has probably been brought up before, but I think it important enough to be brought up again. It could easily be interpreted that what I have said above is contradictory. I think being in the position of the presidency makes all the difference. Comments? Kim Tracy ** These comments are my own and Bell Labs is not likely to claim them.*** "Who can say, whence will come the day?" kt
bch@mcnc.UUCP (Byron Howes) (08/09/85)
I have a better idea. Let's exchange Ken Arndt for something the USSR
find equally valuable. What! You say the soviets don't have anything
that worthless? Ah well...
--
Byron C. Howes
...!{decvax,akgua}!mcnc!ecsvax!bchevan@petfe.UUCP (Evan Marcus) (08/10/85)
Comment was made that Pres Reagan's joke that 'We start bombing Russia in
5 minutes' was out of place and not funny because he was the President, and
he could do it. (Correct me if I'm wrong, but my readnews doesn't have auto-
follow up and I'm getting lazy)
My opinion about the joke was that it was really kinda funny. I enjoyed it.
If I had said it, it certainly wouldn;t have been funny. It's funny 'cause
Ronnie has the ability to do it, not unfunny because he does. It's also
funny because you don't expect jokes coming from high places like that.
Also, it's funny because you can just picture all his aides scurrying around
trying to come up with a way to explain it away!
Sure, it's a dead horse, and jokes stop being funny when you explain them,
but nevertheless (I love that word), I wanted to get my 2 c/ (how can you
make a cents sign??) in.
--Evan Marcus
--
{ucbvax|decvax}!vax135!petsd!petfe!evan
...!pedsgd!pedsga!evan
What do you want? Wicker?fsks@unc.UUCP (Frank Silbermann) (08/10/85)
In article <3459@decwrl.UUCP> arndt@lymph.DEC writes: > >A doctor just back from the good ole USSR writes in the current American >Medical Assoc. Journal that we and they should exchange 250,000 students >as hostages against the threat of nuke war. (Perhaps there IS something >in the water in Leningrad besides the Trotsky Trots) What a great idea! >I have a few candidates to go right in the front of my mind although he says >they should be chosen by lottery for a two year stint. Don't fall for it, America! It's a commie trick! The Ruskies aren't soft on the destruction of innocent life, like we are. They wouldn't think twice about sacrificing 250,000 of their own innocent students if one of their evil political goals was on the line. But our government, which loves its citizens, each and every one (except the trouble-makers), would have its hands tied. Frank Silbermann
fred@mnetor.UUCP (Fred Williams) (08/12/85)
In article <124@unc.unc.UUCP> fsks@unc.UUCP (Frank Silbermann) writes: >In article <3459@decwrl.UUCP> arndt@lymph.DEC writes: >> >>A doctor just back from the good ole USSR writes in the current American >>Medical Assoc. Journal that we and they should exchange 250,000 students >>as hostages against the threat of nuke war... > >Don't fall for it, America! It's a commie trick! The Ruskies aren't soft >on the destruction of innocent life, like we are. They wouldn't think twice >about sacrificing 250,000 of their own innocent students if one of their >evil political goals was on the line. But our government, which loves >its citizens, each and every one (except the trouble-makers), would have >its hands tied. > > Frank Silbermann GIVE ME A BREAK!!! I'm telling you that the U.S. does not have a monopoly on love for it's citizens, or justice, etc., etc. People are pretty much the same the world over. There is just no evidence to the contrary. In the USSR the police have more widspread powers of search & whatchyamacallit, etc. Often these are abused...or so I've heard. I suspect that the Soviet reputation to set human rights aside, or at least give them low priority is well deserved. For this I must condemn them. It is no way for an enlightened nation to conduct themselves! At the same time, I am not very pleased with the U.S. when the FBI, (CIA?, It's so hard to differentiate without a program), comes into Canada and arrests people just like they had a right to do so. This has been done repeatedly without any attempt at extradition proceedings, and without informing any Canadian authorities. This is also not the way an enlightened nation should conduct themselves. I could make references to the way blacks are treated in the U.S. if we were to talk about human rights, etc. But really, I don't want to repeat what has already been well posted on the net by others. I just want to say that believing that "God" is on your side; or that your enemy is "evil" and must be destroyed, etc. This is what I call national chauvenism, and it leads to wars. So when you have these thoughts, you should scare yourself! You scare me! Cheers, Fred Williams
tos@psc70.UUCP (Dr.Schlesinger) (08/13/85)
The suggestion that we are soft about the destruction of innocent life is ludicrous. I suppose we gave a damn about how many millions of Vietnamese we butchered to avoid admitting we'd made a stupid mistake by retrieving a former French colony under the guise of containment. I realize the writer means the deliberate willingness to let hostages be destroyed. But seriously the facile assumption about the "Ruskies" reveals the kind of white hats vs. black hats delusions on which the Cold War feeds. The idea of the brutal Ruskies, of course, rests on the Gulag and Stalin, and other aspects of Russian history. But our history of the last 200 years isn't that reasuuring either... some would say that the Union's "democratic" way opf settling the little problem of 1861 wasn't exactly humanitarian... then comes Hiroshima with all of its questions, and heaven knows what other humanitarian wonders we'll yet bring to the world. The Soviets/Russians seem brutal to us, but they know what suffering and the death of millions us like... all Russian families have suffered untold hardships. Only a handful of Americans, and not an inch of the American mainland, have ever suffered similarly since 1865! So we shouldn't be too sure about who may be really willing to be ruthless and brutal for their beliefs at a certain momen.
todd@SCIRTP.UUCP (Todd Jones) (08/13/85)
> Comment was made that Pres Reagan's joke that 'We start bombing Russia in > 5 minutes' was out of place and not funny because he was the President, and > he could do it. > > My opinion about the joke was that it was really kinda funny. I bet the Russians got a good laugh out of it. In fact it was probably as good a laugh as you would have gotten if Gorbachev had said the same about the USA. > I enjoyed it. > If I had said it, it certainly wouldn;t have been funny. It's funny 'cause > Ronnie has the ability to do it. The ability to tell the joke or start bombing? > --Evan Marcus The reason it's not funny is because Ronnie talks so tough, I have good reason to believe he might actually attempt a strike on Russia. -todd jones
sorgatz@ttidcc.UUCP ( Avatar) (08/15/85)
Keywords:AcademicCommieJerks
< munch! gobble! chomp! chew! Why don't "THEY" fix this bug? >
Dr <147@psc70.UUCP> S:
Screw you! The Soviets are a bunch blood thirsty bastards from the word
GO. We should have kept marching to Moscow at the end of Nazi Germany's
life and killed Stalin with his own knife! Sometimes I wonder about you
people stuck in colleges/universities...are you learning anything? Can
you ignore what has happened in various places around the world? Ask
people who have recently left the USSR (and Co!) to come to America...
..ask 'em if they want to go back...ask yourself if you'd like to go..
.I'm sure Ken Arndt, D.B. Ward and I would be all too glad to take up a
collection to send you! ONE WAY of course!
-Avatar->
ps-If you think we screwed-up so bad with Hiroshima, what do you think
of the attack on Pearl Harbor? Was that ok? Do you think they just goofed?
Erik K. Sorgatz
Transaction Technology Inc. (Citicorp's R/AD West) ... . ... . ...
3100 ocean Park Blvd. (zone V1) . | |..|..| | .
Santa Monica, Ca. 90405 |.|....|....|.|
USENET path: {garfield,lasspvax,linus,cmcl2,seismo} |.|....|....|.|
!philabs!ttidca!sorgatz | | ...|... | |
("..My poor Krel! Even they must have evolved up from the ..| | .|. | |..
mindless primative..after a million years of shining sanity, they could
hardly have known what was destroying them!" -Dr. Morbius F.P.)fsks@unc.UUCP (Frank Silbermann) (08/16/85)
In article <147@psc70.UUCP> tos@psc70.UUCP (Dr.Schlesinger) writes: > > The suggestion that we are soft about the destruction of innocent >life is ludicrous. Haven't you ever watched James Bond movies? It's always the _commie_ spy (or Nazi spy, same difference) who is told, "You knew the penalty for failure" just before his own boss kills him. >I suppose we gave a damn about how many millions of >Vietnamese we butchered to avoid admitting we'd made a stupid mistake >by retrieving a former French colony under the guise of containment. No, no. That's a negative attitude. Think of it as the many (millions? Naw!) Vienamese we butchered to avoid the greater bloodbath which invariably follows communist revolutions (and which did indeed follow the communist take-over of South Vietnam and Cambodia, as expected). >then comes Hiroshima with all of its questions, and heaven knows >what other humanitarian wonders we'll yet bring to the world. Yeah, I know about Hiroshima, but that's different, 'cause we always felt bad about it. I don't think I can continue this discussion with you, if you insist on being serious. Frank Silbermann
baba@spar.UUCP (Baba ROM DOS) (08/18/85)
> Screw you! The Soviets are a bunch blood thirsty bastards from the word > GO. We should have kept marching to Moscow at the end of Nazi Germany's > life and killed Stalin with his own knife! > > Erik K. Sorgatz > Transaction Technology Inc. (Citicorp's R/AD West) ... . ... . ... Yeah! *That* would have shown that *we* were no "bunch blood thirsty bastards"! I mean, what kind of country with any balls doesn't turn on its allies at the first opportunity, anyway? Baba
tan@ihlpg.UUCP (Bill Tanenbaum) (08/19/85)
> >>[Ken Arndt] > >>A doctor just back from the good ole USSR writes in the current American > >>Medical Assoc. Journal that we and they should exchange 250,000 students > >>as hostages against the threat of nuke war... ------------------------------- > [Frank Silbermann] > >Don't fall for it, America! It's a commie trick! The Ruskies aren't soft > >on the destruction of innocent life, like we are. They wouldn't think twice > >about sacrificing 250,000 of their own innocent students if one of their > >evil political goals was on the line. But our government, which loves > >its citizens, each and every one (except the trouble-makers), would have > >its hands tied. ------------------------------- > [Fred Williams] > GIVE ME A BREAK!!! > I'm telling you that the U.S. does not have a monopoly on love for > it's citizens, or justice, etc., etc. People are pretty much the same > the world over. There is just no evidence to the contrary. People may be, but Frank was talking about governments. > In the USSR the police have more widspread powers of search & > whatchyamacallit, etc. Often these are abused...or so I've heard. > I suspect that the Soviet reputation to set human rights aside, or at > least give them low priority is well deserved. For this I must condemn > them. It is no way for an enlightened nation to conduct themselves! > At the same time, I am not very pleased with the U.S. when the > FBI, (CIA?, It's so hard to differentiate without a program), comes > into Canada and arrests people just like they had a right to do so. > This has been done repeatedly without any attempt at extradition > proceedings, and without informing any Canadian authorities. This is > also not the way an enlightened nation should conduct themselves. The U. S. Govt. is far from perfect (as is Canada's - remember Trudeau's action during the Quebec separatist bombings a ways back), but to compare the U. S. with the Soviet police state is is an abomination. There is a real difference between western democracies and the Soviet Union. > I could make references to the way blacks are treated in the U.S. > if we were to talk about human rights, etc. But really, I don't want > to repeat what has already been well posted on the net by others. It's not the U. S. government that oppresses blacks, but the attitudes of many of its people. But as you say, people are much the same the world over. The U. S. government has been, at least before Reagan, the prime force allieviating discrimination. > I just want to say that believing that "God" is on your side; > or that your enemy is "evil" and must be destroyed, etc. This is > what I call national chauvenism, and it leads to wars. So when you have > these thoughts, you should scare yourself! You scare me! True, but this does not mean that one government is just as bad as the next. I would have to agree with Silbermann's assessment of the student exchange idea. -- Bill Tanenbaum - AT&T Bell Labs - Naperville IL ihnp4!ihlpg!tan
jchapman@watcgl.UUCP (john chapman) (08/21/85)
> > >>[Ken Arndt] > > >>A doctor just back from the good ole USSR writes in the current American > > >>Medical Assoc. Journal that we and they should exchange 250,000 students > > >>as hostages against the threat of nuke war... > ------------------------------- > > [Frank Silbermann] > > >Don't fall for it, America! It's a commie trick! The Ruskies aren't soft > > >on the destruction of innocent life, like we are. They wouldn't think twice > > >about sacrificing 250,000 of their own innocent students if one of their > > >evil political goals was on the line. But our government, which loves . How about exchanging 250,000 politicians? :-) We have more than we need up here so we could loan you some to trade if you're a bit short... -- John Chapman ...!watmath!watcgl!jchapman Disclaimer : These are not the opinions of anyone but me and they may not even be mine.