werner@aecom.UUCP (Craig Werner) (08/21/85)
[] Somewhere in Washington, you might - or might not - have seen these personal ads: DISCLAIMER - I am not responsible for any debts incurred by the 99th Congress or by the current administration before or after this date. I warned them but they wouldn't listen. Now they'll have to get along without me. D. Stockman SEEKING - S/MWFs, S/MWMs, S/MBFs, S/MBMs and all registered voters for serious relationship leading to 1988 election. I am handsome post-preppy and yuppy, excellent resume, friendly, bright, financially secure, good wardrobe, physically fit, experienced at state funerals, eight hours experience in job. G. Bush. JOB WANTED - Diplomat-professor, Dem-Republican, tough administrator wants job commensurate with extraordinary abilities. Would consider secretary of state, national security advisor, or equivalent. Reason for leaving last job: insufficient appreciation and frustration with stupid associates. J. Kirkpatrick. FOR SALE - Calculator with 15-digit number display. Can be programmed to fuzz answers as desired. Good condition except for balance function, which is inoperative. Best offer or trade for a really good putter. D. Rostenkowski. HELP WANTED - To replace worn-out planks in platform and construct replacement sturdy enough to support long-time political ambitions. Must be in place by spring '86. Money no object. T. Kennedy. HEALTH SERVICES -- Is your life being ruined by an uncontrollable addiction to public office? Is your budget shot, your dignity gone? Have you reached the point where you are helpless to resist the lure of public office? Help is available. Call Politicians Anonymous, ask for Fritz. PERSONAL - B. Dole, I know you are hurt and angry. But please try to understand why I have to go along with Tip instead of you. I know you went out on a limb for me and I appreciate that. It's not that I take you and Elizabeth for granted. Please give me a chance to explain. R.R. LOST AND FOUND -- Confidence of the White House staff. Lost somewhere between 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and HHS. Has great sentimental value for owner. No material value to anyone else. Reward for return. No questions asked Contact Margaret H. Source: 'Somehow, it all ads up.' by Joan Beck New York Daily News, Tuesday, Aug. 20. -- Craig Werner !philabs!aecom!werner "The world is just a straight man for you sometimes"