cramer@sun.uucp (Sam Cramer) (02/21/86)
Goodness gracious, you workers in the factory of lies have been productive as of late. I'm troubled by the trend, though. Granted, the "Jews have it great in Iran", "Israel arms anti-Israeli terrorists", and "the PLO accepts resolution 242" items were novel, but don't you think that there is a danger of flooding the market? I mean, the dumping of a new load of product from Raif Hijab seriously threatens the saleability of such falsehoods, especially considering their low quality. Arab terrorism a bother? You've got an item to recitify that problem! See, it was the Israelis that started it - clever, eh? Here it is: > Rather, Israel's enemies have unfortunately begun to use its > tactics. It was Jewish terrorists in the mandate era who > introduced indiscriminate terrorism to the Middle East. [Raif Hijab] Of course, there is a consumer alert out with this little number: "caution: does not reconcile well with Arab massacre of Jewish residents of Hebron of 1929. Conceal at all costs details: 67 killed, 60 wounded, synagogues razed, Torah scrolls burned. Use only on foolish or ignorant - has proved ineffective on those acquainted with history." Well, never mind, I see you've cranked out freshly-minted little lie aimed at the high-brow set: > ... the way Israel hunted and assasinated prominent Palestinian > intellectuals (writers and poets known not to be involved in violence), Yep, the old appeal to culture is a sure-fire hit. However, again, we see that "caution is advised - don't mention prominent Palestinian intellectual and religious leader Haj Amin el Husseini (a.k.a. the Mufti of Jerusalem), intellectual author of a campaign of terror against Jews in Palestine, and open Nazi collaborator, who said approvingly at a November 1943 Berlin rally 'the Germans know how to get rid of the Jews.' Such facts may cause cognitive dissonance in the consumer and thus should not be mixed with the product." Gentlemen, I'm impressed by your rate of production but am a bit concerned about quality control; all these consumer alerts and warnings against misuse are troubling. Granted, the above lies are cheap, but they are prone to blowing up in the customer's face. This is not Beirut, after all! The American customer demands quality and gloss; look how well Yassir did after he dropped the radical image - he even got to speak in the UN, handgun and all (now if only we could get him to shave, and stop letting down his guard in front of Arab audiences...). What do you say, fellows? Let's give it the old college try and win this one for the Yassir! Beat those Zionists and their un-progressive, non-Islamic allies! I'm sure we can keep up production *and* increase the quality of our falsehoods if we are industrious! Back to work! -- Sam Cramer uucp: {cbosgd,decwrl,hplabs,seismo,ucbvax}!sun!cramer arpanet: cramer@sun.arpa