michael@ucbiris.berkeley.edu (Tom Slone [(415)486-5954]) (07/22/86)
The Attorney General's Special Commission on Obesity has determined
that recipe books cause obesity. While we at the Attorney General's
Office are unable to prosecute users, creators, publishers and
distributors of this smut (due to some archaic piece of legislation
[what's it called , the Bill of Rights?]), we will be seeking other
means of prosecuting these people. Boycotting of smut distributors is
only the least of these means, we will be organizing voluntary patrols
of restaurants to make sure that chefs do not use this trash. Chefs
who insist on using recipe books will be blacklisted from all member
restaurants of the Order of Higher Eating Establishments (O-HEE), and
will be degraded into working for greasy-spoons and diners. We will be
attempting new avenues of prosecution, including arresting chronic
recipe book users as pimps to the obese, and arresting the
extraordinarily obese as prostitutes of flesh. Finally we will seek
legislation to tax obese people on a per pound basis, and to prevent
obese foreigners from getting visas into the United States of America
[God Bless It!].
A posting, which will follow, will include the names and addresses of
all publishers and distributors of recipe books, for purposes of
boycotting.
Thomas H. Slone
michael@ucbiris.berkeley.edu michael%ucbiris@berkeley.arpa
{arizona|decwrl|decvax|hplabs|ihnp4|sun}!ucbvax!ucbiris!michaelmoore1@ihuxi.UUCP (Moore) (07/31/86)
> The Attorney General's Special Commission on Obesity has determined > that recipe books cause obesity. While we at the Attorney General's > Office are unable to prosecute users, creators, publishers and > distributors of this smut (due to some archaic piece of legislation > [what's it called , the Bill of Rights?]), we will be seeking other > means of prosecuting these people. Boycotting of smut distributors is > only the least of these means, we will be organizing voluntary patrols > of restaurants to make sure that chefs do not use this trash. Chefs > who insist on using recipe books will be blacklisted from all member > restaurants of the Order of Higher Eating Establishments (O-HEE), and > will be degraded into working for greasy-spoons and diners. We will be > attempting new avenues of prosecution, including arresting chronic > recipe book users as pimps to the obese, and arresting the > extraordinarily obese as prostitutes of flesh. Finally we will seek > legislation to tax obese people on a per pound basis, and to prevent > obese foreigners from getting visas into the United States of America > [God Bless It!]. > > A posting, which will follow, will include the names and addresses of > all publishers and distributors of recipe books, for purposes of > boycotting. > Thomas H. Slone > michael@ucbiris.berkeley.edu michael%ucbiris@berkeley.arpa > {arizona|decwrl|decvax|hplabs|ihnp4|sun}!ucbvax!ucbiris!michael Tom Slone, that was really refreshing. A tight little parable to show how it might happen as opposed to telling how. Much more effective. And although your story could be considered funny in it's content, the premise you convey is very frightening. Any- one who thinks it can't happen here should read a little history. Tom Moore AT&T Bell Labs ihuxi!moore1