jfp@emory.UUCP (09/09/83)
I'm not sure who's responsible(??) for the original of this-
I have it at least third hand.
ELECTRONIC GRAINS
The Vegetable Computer was invented in 1842 by Charles Cab-
bage, regarded by many as the father of the field. Cabbage
called his computer the Agricultural Engine. Modern versions
consist of rose and rose of integrated carrots connected to
a flower supply by a maize of wires. Input is from pea
switches, yard weeder and tell-he's-ripe. A hayseed vine
printer may be used to generate hard coffee, while a veget-
able display unit supports interactive composting. Main
memory consists of interleaved beet-addressable magnetic
corn. Secondary store consists of plough discs and grape
drives. All peripherals are daisy chained.
A later version of the Agricultural Engine was known as
the AR-16 (after Agricultural Revolution). It was based on
the sack discipline, first perfected by the Barrow Combine,
and sprouted a high-swede paper tape reaper for the first
lime.
Early computer consumed large amounts of power. Many
required their own electric spud-station to seed them and
had to overcome the problem of providing adequate lentila-
tion. Such problems caused many a furrowed brow in the pas-
ture and we cannot expect to avoid harrowing days ahead.
However, the many fertile minds that constitute the rate-
of-the-cart computer technology cannot fail to produce the
harvest of the future, particulary with the bloom of very
large scale irrigation. Artificial pollination techniques
grafted on to parallel earthworks will soon be producing
computers proudly proclaiming "I think, therefore I yam".
All chokoes aside, we can look beyond the melon-cauli thymes
through the winnow of the ears till the salad days ahead.
Lettuce advance to the world of two marrows. To those reac-
tionaries who would turn back the docks we say, "hoe! hoe!
hoe!".
Herb and Russel Sprout,
Rice Presidents,
Assocn. for Cultivating Machinery
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John Pedersen. {sb1,akgua}!emory!jfp
Emory University, Atlanta.