[net.lang] New Language - SARTRE

glenn@ll-xn.ARPA (Glenn Adams) (11/15/85)

A New Programming Language: SARTRE

*SARTRE--Named after the late existential philosopher, SARTRE is an
extremely unstructured language.  Statements in SARTRE have no purpose;
they just are. Thus SARTRE programs are left to define their own
functions. SARTRE programmers tend to be boring and depressed and are
no fun at parties.  The SARTRE language has two basic data types, the
EN-SOI and the POUR-SOI.  The EN-SOI is a completely filled heap, 
whereas the POUR-SOI is a dynamic structure which never has the same
value.  The structures are accessed through the only operation
defined in SARTRE, nihilation, which usually results in a 
?BAD FAITH at PC 02AC040 error.  Comparisons in SARTRE have a peculiar
form in that the IF statement can take no arguments and simply reads

		IF;

Similarly, assignments can only be of the form

		WHAT-IS := (NOT WHAT-IS);

since in SARTRE the POUR-SOI is only, and exactly, what it is not.
Although this sounds confusing, a background process, the NIHILATOR, is
constantly running, making any such statements (or any statements at
all, for that matter), completely meaningless.

Programs in SARTRE do not terminate, of course, since there is No Exit.

--Author Unknown

-- 

Glenn Adams
MIT Lincoln Laboratory

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mf@ircam.UUCP (mf) (11/17/85)

In article <240@ll-xn.ARPA> glenn@ll-xn.ARPA (Glenn Adams) quotes
``A New Programming Language: SARTRE,'' of ``Author Unknown.''

If I am not mistaken, this is excerpted from a very funny article
about several hypothetical languages, called ``Laidback with (a) Fifth,''
by John Unger Zussman, published published in the Oct 4, 1982 issue
of Info World.

--Michael

wb6rqn@yojna1.UUCP (Brian Lloyd) (11/22/85)

> A New Programming Language: SARTRE
> 
> *SARTRE--Named after the late existential philosopher, SARTRE is an
> extremely unstructured language.  Statements in SARTRE have no purpose;
> they just are. Thus SARTRE programs are left to define their own
>       . . .
> constantly running, making any such statements (or any statements at
> all, for that matter), completely meaningless.
> 
> Programs in SARTRE do not terminate, of course, since there is No Exit.
> 
> --Author Unknown
> 
> -- 
> 
> Glenn Adams
>

*** REPLACE THIS LINE WITH YOUR MESSAGE ***

I do not know who originated the entry for SARTRE, but while in the UK about
a year ago I had thrust at me a four page mimeographed copy of a letter from
"E. Mode, Systems Architect" to "The Editor, Monday Times, T' Office in T'
Corner, Heathrow House".  This letter was dated 17 August, 1984.  It is a 
delight to read and contains much fact, opinion, fiction, and fun.  The entry
on SARTRE is there along with such all-time greats as:

ALGOL
APL
C
DCALGOL
DOGO
ESPOL
FIFTH
FORTE 2
JOVIAL
LAIDBACK
LITHP
LOGO
MOMENEE
NWP
Pascal
PROMIS
SIMPLE
SLOBOL
VALGOL

Perhaps a few exerpts would be in order ...

C: is named for the grade received by its creator who produced is as a class
project.  "C" is best described as a low-level programming language.  It
generally requires more "C" statements than machine code operators to execute
a given task.  In this respect it is very similar to COBOL.  A viable UNIX
environment was created by an enthusiastic hobbyist while not doing something
completely different in the I/O section in Tredyffrin, but it came to naught.

LITHP: is an otherwise unremarkable language distinguished by the absence of
"S" from the character set, substituting "TH".  LITHP is said to be useful in
processing lithtth.

--- or my favorite ...

VALGOL: this language is a derivative of LAIDBACK and had its origins in
Southern California's Santa Ana Facility for Intra-Computer Ecological Design
where the development of environmental software has been concentrated.  The
main objective of this facility has been always to maintain what they call the
ecological balance of a computer of whatever configuration and size by 
completely filling it with environmental software (e.g. GEMCOS [Burroughs]).
That is by the way.  VALGOL is enjoying a dramatic surge in popularity at
this time across the industry.  VALGOL includes commands such as REALLY, LIKE,
WELL, ER, and Y'KNOW.  Variables are assigned with " = LIKE" and " = TOTALLY"
operators.  California Booleans in VALGOL are FERSURE and NOWAY.  Iterations
are handled in FERSURE loops.  Syntax errors are notoriously unfriendly:
e.g. "GAG ME WITH A SPOON".  The following is a representative sample of the
language:

	LIKE Y'KNOW (I MEAN) START
	IF
	A = LIKE BITCHEN  AND
	B = LIKE TUBULAR  AND
	C = LIKE TOTALLY GRODY ** 2
	THEN
		(FERSURE) ** 2
		FOR I = LIKE 1 TO OH MAYBE 100
		DO
			WAH + (DIDDY * 2)
			BARF(I) TOTALLY GROSS OUT
		SURE
	LIKE BAG THIS PROGRAM
	REALLY
	LIKE TOTALLY (Y'KNOW)

The only significant program to have been written in VALGOL is spite of the
enthusiasm is a random insult generator that cna only be seen at Hendon by
signatories of the Official Secrets Act.

------

73 de Brian Lloyd, WB6RQN
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