MIQ@PSUVMA.BITNET (03/11/86)
How about an episode that shows what life would REALLY be like on a
starship? Let's face it-- space is very big and very empty, even at warp
speed. Here's a sample that some friends & I thought of...
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Scene 1: Enterprise exterior. We hear Kirk's voice.
KIRK: Captain's Log, Stardate 3652.4. Nothing. No giant cloud monsters,
no Greek gods, no Code 1 messages from Starfleet. Greatest
threat to the Enterprise for the past six weeks has been that
we'd all slip into comas from boredom.
Shot of Enterprise exterior dissolves into the bridge. Sulu flips a
couple of switches, then runs along an entire row, flipping them back and
forth to see if the lights go out.
Camera moves to a shot of Kirk. He stares toward the main viewscreen
for two or three minutes, then yawns and begins drumming his fingers. Uhura
is seen in the background, filing her nails and humming to herself.
Spock, after staring into his sensor readout for two minutes, looks up
towards Kirk.
SPOCK: Sensor scan shows all clear, Captain.
KIRK: (startled out of a light sleep) Huh? Oh, yes. Very well.
Several minutes pass.
SULU: (hopefully, to Kirk) Shall I alter course, sir?
KIRK: (startled again, from daydreaming) Hmmm? Oh, I suppose so. Come
about to....hmmmmmm.....231 mark 35.
SULU: (visibly relieved) Aye, sir.
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Scene 2: Sick Bay. Nurse Chapel is attending to a crewman with a
severe paper cut. McCoy is seen dozing an examination table nearby.
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Scene 3. Engineering Room. Scotty glances at a control panel, and
adjusts a few dials. After whistling & twiddling his thumbs for 4 minutes
solid, he reaches behind the panel, pulls out a bottle of Saurian Brandy, and
takes a swig.
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Scene 4. Bridge. Small dents are now visible under Kirk's still-drumming
fingers. Uhura is going over her nails for the fifth time. Camera switches
to Chekov, who seems to be in deep concentration, trying to make some kind of
decision. Finally, he turns to Kirk.
CHEKOV: Captain, request permission to leave the bridge.
KIRK: What for, Mr. Chekov?
CHEKOV: I have to take a leak.
KIRK: (tersely) Permission denied.
A music sting accompanies Kirk's reply. Camera switches between the
different bridge crew members as they turn to face Kirk in shock. Music
swirls and rises, and the scene fades for the first commercial break.
Anyone want to finish the other three thrilling acts?
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| | |
| James D. Maloy | THIS SPACE |
| The Pennsylvania State University | FOR RENT |
| | |
| UUCP Path: ihnp4!psuvax1!miq@psuvma.bitnet | Call 555-6821 |
| | |
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"I am pleased to see we have differences. May we together become
greater than the sum of both of us."
-- Surak of Vulcan
spock@hope.UUCP (Chris Ambler) (03/15/86)
> CHEKOV: Captain, request permission to leave the bridge. > > KIRK: What for, Mr. Chekov? > > CHEKOV: I have to take a leak. > > KIRK: (tersely) Permission denied. *** DESTROY THIS LINE WITH YOUR TORPEDO *** The bridge has a bathroom... :-) ----------------------------------------------------------------------- |-Spock! (Christopher J. Ambler, University of California, Riverside)| | | | ...ucbvax!ucdavis!ucrmath!hope!spock | | | | -"Captain, I see no reason to bother Starfleet..." | |---------------------------------------------------------------------|
MIQ@PSUVMA.BITNET (03/18/86)
>> CHEKOV: Captain, request permission to leave the bridge. >> >> KIRK: What for, Mr. Chekov? >> >> CHEKOV: I have to take a leak. >> >> KIRK: (tersely) Permission denied. > >The bridge has a bathroom... :-) > >|-Spock! (Christopher J. Ambler, University of California, Riverside)| > Whoops! My mistake. (You know, I always wondered why Kirk's chair had such high arms & back. :-) ) ------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- | | | | James D. Maloy | THIS SPACE | | The Pennsylvania State University | FOR RENT | | | | | UUCP Path: ihnp4!psuvax1!miq@psuvma.bitnet | Call 555-6821 | | | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "I am pleased to see we have differences. May we together become greater than the sum of both of us." -- Surak of Vulcan