panoff@cmcl2.UUCP (04/17/84)
Not necessarily the first line.
untitled
I really don't recall
Just when these walls
Began
To grow
But then it surely
Must have been quite
Early in my years
As tears brought on by fears
(Rejection of affection)
Fell,
And in their fall
A wall was seeded.
All
I needed
Was a fortress
Thick;
So quickly
(I was younger)
I began
To build
Foundations wide
And deep,
And steep walls
Which I piled high,
Each brick
On bitter brick,
Cementing seams
With dreams
And memories;
And trees
I planted blocking sight
Of night,
And day,
And sun,
And moon,
And soon
So shielded from the world
I turned inside
To hide
My tears,
And fears,
And hurts
From others only for
A lonely, waking thought has brought
A sharp
And aching pain:
In vain
I fortify this room
And doom myself
To spend
Each day
And minute
In a cell with no one in it
Save the only person who
Has ever cursed or hurt me.
While I wanted
To be
Free from fear,
And fear of fear,
I fear these walls
Of stone themselves
And he within them,
Me.