pking@uiucuxc.UUCP (06/29/84)
#N:uiucuxc:20200003:000:1878
uiucuxc!pking Jun 29 15:07:00 1984
i saw you today --
and the pain was new
again
bleeding once more as i did then
did you see?
was it written on my face?
the scars that time
could not erase
did you know as you spoke
that the wounds
never quite healed
and i died
a little more
and when you walked away
did you see the pool of blood
laying at your feet
the remnants of a love
long dead in your eyes
or did your feet step through
the mess----your eyes never
seeing----as again you trod
upon my heart?
a tribute to my mom (born 11-21-16 died 06-14-84)
i thought you would live forever
i could never picture how it would
be -- without you
and the pain now is like none before
i thought you would always be there
we would always laugh together
and i regret the things we'll never do
the lost moments of what could have been
of what was that it's too late to change
all the apologies i should have made
all the times i should have told you
now when you're gone
do you know? all those things
i left unsaid?
when i was a child i thought you would
live
forever
for always
and i lived in fear of the time when
you'd be gone
and now
you're gone and i am not afraid
i am alone
and this pain goes beyond words
beyond tears and my heart
will never be the same
there is a part of me that's missing
a part of me only you ever filled
i miss you
and all i have are the memories
your smile
your warmth
my memories
and too my bitter regrets
they circle in my brain
all the things i should have done for you
all the times i could have told you what you meant
to me
and the wondering
was i everything you wanted me to be?
were you proud?
did you regret that i was yours?
the endless questions i can never answer
in a way are you not better than i?
you have your endless peace?
and for me there is no peace, never
without you
only the empty place where you were
mom, i love you