[net.poems] poems

Anonymous@uiucuxc.UUCP (10/23/84)

            i was alone
     you came
 and for a time i was no longer alone

but with you came 
your own special brand of loneliness
 your own special pain 

and what i'd known before
did not compare 
with what came afterwards
what was left 
after you'd gone 
   and knowing now
what i didn't know then 
i will remain alone
     and whole
it is better 
it is safer 
than what i am now

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  i saw you today -- 
and the pain was new again

did you see?
was it written on my face?
the scars so clear             
etched forever in my eyes
could you tell?
the broken pieces of my heart
were still scattered at your feet

did you know as you spoke
i was bleeding again as i had then
the wounds 
never quite healed 
the damage still beyond repair

i saw you today --
and i died 
a little more


--------------------------------------------------------

a cancer grows 
spreads
devours
leaving only death
in its wake

a cancer grows 
hungry 
thirsting 
damaging 
leaving only despair
remaining

a cancer grows
painful
hopeless
draining life
leaving only a shell
of what was

you are the cancer 
of my soul
and i 
what is left

from the sickness
from the desolation
from the desperation
from which there was no cure
only the cancer 
growing
killing
spreading 
eating 
until 
there was nothing
not even death 

to end the pain 
no cures 
no drugs 
to halt the ceaseless progression of disease
nothing to fill the cavities 
of emptiness 
of endless pain 
my soul would die 
if it could
a welcome release 
instead of the living hell of this

but there is no death 
no release
only the never ending cancer
of you 
destroying me