[net.poems] Lethal poetry

colonel@sunybcs.UUCP (Col. G. L. Sicherman) (01/20/86)

> Also from THHGTTG:
> 
> Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in my Armpit One Midsummer Morning
  ...
> 
> 	Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings
> 	37 Wasp Villas
> 	Green Bridge
> 
> The dead swans lay in the stagnant pool.
  ...

This is all fictitious.  The _really_ worst poetry in the universe was
written by Julia A. Moore of Algoma, Michigan.

	Have you heard of the dreadful fate
	  Of Mr. P. P. Bliss and wife?
	Of their death I will relate,
	  And also others lost their life. ...

			"Ashtabula Disaster"
-- 
Col. G. L. Sicherman
UU: ...{rocksvax|decvax}!sunybcs!colonel
CS: colonel@buffalo-cs
BI: csdsicher@sunyabva

pdg@ihdev.UUCP (P. D. Guthrie) (01/23/86)

In article <2746@sunybcs.UUCP> colonel@sunybcs.UUCP (Col. G. L. Sicherman) writes:
>> Also from THHGTTG:
>> 
>> Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in my Armpit One Midsummer Morning
>  ...
>> 
>> 	Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings
>> 	37 Wasp Villas
>> 	Green Bridge
>> 
>> The dead swans lay in the stagnant pool.
>  ...
>
>This is all fictitious.  The _really_ worst poetry in the universe was
>written by Julia A. Moore of Algoma, Michigan.
>
>	Have you heard of the dreadful fate
>	  Of Mr. P. P. Bliss and wife?
>	Of their death I will relate,
>	  And also others lost their life. ...
>
>			"Ashtabula Disaster"
>-- 

Nope the **really* most absolutely utterly bad poetry comes from a
Scottish poet from Dundee called McGonigle.  If someone has some on hand
they should really post it as it is really a joke, so should fit in well
here.
-- 

Paul Guthrie				`When the going gets weird,
ihnp4!ihdev!pdg				 The weird turn pro'
					  - H. Thompson

weemba@brahms.BERKELEY.EDU (Matthew P. Wiener) (01/24/86)

>This is all fictitious.  The _really_ worst poetry in the universe was
>written by Julia A. Moore of Algoma, Michigan.

No!  The all time worst poetry in any language any planet any universe
is that written by William McGonagall (1830-1902), from Dundee, Scotland.

From "The Albion Battleship Calamity":

'Twas in the year of 1898, and on the 21st of June,
The launching of the Battleship Albion caused a great gloom,
Amongst the relatives of many persons who were drowned in the River Thames,
Which their relatives will remember while life remains.
 ...
There's one brave man in particular I must mention,
And I'm sure he's worthy of the people's attention.
His name is Thomas Cooke, of No. 6 Percy Road, Canning Town,
Who's name ought to be to posterity handed down,
 ...
And 1000 pounds from the Directors of the Thames Ironworks and Shipbuilding Co.
Which I hope will help to fill the bereaved one's hearts with glee.
 ...

ucbvax!brahms!weemba	Matthew P Wiener/UCB Math Dept/Berkeley CA 94720

gsmith@brahms.BERKELEY.EDU (Gene Ward Smith) (01/24/86)

>>This is all fictitious.  The _really_ worst poetry in the universe was
>>written by Julia A. Moore of Algoma, Michigan.
>
>No!  The all time worst poetry in any language any planet any universe
>is that written by William McGonagall (1830-1902), from Dundee, Scotland.

  Has anyone thought of randomly sampling net.poems?