honavar@uwai.UUCP (Vasant Honavar) (02/03/86)
GOD REST YE CS STUDENTS NOW God rest ye CS students now, The bearings on the drum are gone, Let nothing you dismay. The disk is wobbling too. The Vax is down and won't be up We've found a bug in Lisp and Algol Until the first of May. Can't tell false from true. The program that was due this morn And now we find that "d" is really Won't be postponed, they say. Oh point four oh two. (chorus) (chorus) They've just called up DEC and And now some cheery news for you, They'll send without delay, The printer is also dead. An engineer who knows to fix the VAX, They are going to print your files But it costs three hundred k. On the research printer instead. Harry Bovik committed suicide and The turn around time is ninteen weeks We will bury him today. And the print cannot be read. (chorus) (chorus) And now we would like to say to you, CHORUS: Oh! tidings of comfort and joy, Before you go away. Comfort and joy, We hope the news we have brought to you Oh! tidings of comfort and joy. Won't ruin your entire day. You've got another program due Tomorrow by the way. (chorus) - Author Unknown Submitted by: Vasant_In_The_Land_Of_The_Dairy_Queens. honavar@ai.wisc.edu Disclaimer: The characters named in the poem are fictitious. :-) This is a real story :-)
trb@haddock.UUCP (02/06/86)
The hacker carol that this follows up is a slightly hacked version of one written at Worcester (MA) Polytechnic Institute, as I recall, during the autumn of 1974. We had a DEC KA10 and an RCA Spectra 70/46 (a 360 clone). WACCC is the Worcester Area College Computation Center, really the WPI comp center. The carols are filled with local references, but you might find them amusing anyway. I think these carols were written by Albert J. Corda, Richard S. Holmes, David B. Kinder, who all were WPI class of '76 or '77. These are off an old DECtape, as they originally appeared. Andrew Tannenbaum Interactive Boston, MA 617-247-1155 [1000,15074] SOME W A C C C CHRISTMAS CAROLS. ************************************************************************ OH, YOU'D BETTER NOT PEEK YOU'D BETTER NOT SPY BETTER NOT POKE I'M TELLING YOU WHY... 602 IS COMING TO CORE! THE DEVLNM BOMBS YOU CAN'T DO A CALL GETTABS JUST WON'T WORK AT ALL 602 IS COMING TO CORE! IT WAKES YOU WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPING IT SWAPS YOU IF YOU'RE SMALL IT PUTS YOU INTO MQ WAIT AND YOU CAN'T GET OUT AT ALL! OH, YOU'D BETTER NOT PEEK YOU'D BETTER NOT SPY BETTER NOT POKE I'M TELLING YOU WHY... 602 IS COMING TO CORE! MAGTAPES ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE, DECTAPES LYING ON THE FLOOR, ALL NASTY FILES BEING THROWN ON A PYRE AND OPS.SAV'S AROUND NO MORE EVERYBODY KNEW A TAPE SEARCH WOULD BE DRAWING NEAR, TRIED TO GET THEIR TAPES FROM W A C C C BUT BIG EGP, WITH A SMILE EAR TO EAR, REFUSED TO GIVE THE DECTAPES BACK THEY KNEW THAT DOOM WAS ON ITS WAY THEY'RE LOSING "TEST" AND OTHER GOODIES ON THIS DAY, AND EVERY UFD THAT ISN'T NICE, WILL BE DELETED ONCE... ...OR MAYBE EVEN TWICE! SO WE'RE OFFERING THIS SIMPLE SONG TO ALL KIDS WHO LIKE TO HACK ONLY DO WHAT'S RIGHT...DON'T GET CAUGHT DOING WRONG MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM W A C C C. GOD REST YE CS STUDENTS NOW LET NOTHING YOU DISMAY, THE DEC IS DOWN AND WON'T BE UP UNTIL THE FIRST OF MAY THE PROGRAM THAT WAS DUE THIS MORN WON'T BE POSTPONED THEY SAY, OH, TIDINGS OF COMFORT AND JOY, COMFORT AND JOY, OH, TIDINGS OF COMFORT AND JOY! THE BEARINGS ON THE DRUM ARE GONE, THE DISK IS WOBBLING TOO, WE'VE FOUND A BUG IN LISP, AND ALGOL CAN'T TELL FALSE FROM TRUE, AND NOW WE FIND THAT D IS REALLY OH POINT FOUR OH TWO, OH, TIDINGS OF COMFORT AND JOY, COMFORT AND JOY, OH, TIDINGS OF COMFORT AND JOY! AND ALL YOU KIDS IN CHEMISTRY WHO USE N-I-C-L, YOU'D FIND OUT, IF THE DEC WERE UP, IT WOULDN'T WORK TOO WELL, THE CHEMISTRY DEPARTMENT SAYS THAT W A C C C CAN GO TO... WELL... OH, TIDINGS OF COMFORT AND JOY, COMFORT AND JOY, OH, TIDINGS OF COMFORT AND JOY! WE'VE JUST RECEIVED A CALL FROM DEC, THEY'LL SEND WITHOUT DELAY A MONITOR CALLED 603 IT TAKES THREE HUNDRED K, GREG WALSH COMMITTED SUICIDE WE'LL BURY HIM TODAY OH, TIDINGS OF COMFORT AND JOY, COMFORT AND JOY, OH, TIDINGS OF COMFORT AND JOY! AND NOW THIS CHEERY NEWS FROM W A C C C THE SPECTRA'S ALSO DEAD, WE'LL HAVE TO RUN YOUR PROGRAMS ON THE WANG UPSTAIRS INSTEAD, THE TURNAROUND TIME'S NINETEEN WEEKS AND CARDS CANNOT BE READ OH, TIDINGS OF COMFORT AND JOY, COMFORT AND JOY, OH, TIDINGS OF COMFORT AND JOY! AND NOW WE'D LIKE TO SAY TO YOU BEFORE WE GO AWAY, WE HOPE THE NEWS WE'VE BROUGHT TO YOU WON'T RUIN YOUR WHOLE DAY, YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER PROGRAM DUE TOMORROW, BY THE WAY OH, TIDINGS OF COMFORT AND JOY, COMFORT AND JOY, OH, TIDINGS OF COMFORT AND JOY!