dlo@drutx.UUCP (OlsonDL) (05/07/86)
[] This poem appeared in the May 7, 1986 issue of the Denver Post: TOM SMITH AND HIS INCREDIBLE BREAD MACHINE by R. W. Grant (1966) The way to make bread he'd conceived Cost less than people could believe. And not just make it! This device Could in addition, wrap and slice! The price per loaf, one loaf or many: The miniscule sum of under a penny. "What's going on?" the public cried, "He's guilty of pure plunder He has no right to get so rich On other people's hunger!"... Well, since the Public does come first, It could not be denied That in matters such as this, The Public must decide. So antitrust now took a hand, Of course it was appalled At what it found was going on. The bread trust it was called. "The rule of law, in complex times Has proved itself deficient. We much prefer the rule of men! It's vastly more efficient. Now let me state the present rules," The lawyer then went on, "These very simple guidelines You can rely upon: You're gouging on your prices if You charge more than the rest. But it's unfair competition If you think you can charge less. A second point that we would make To help avoid confusion, Don't try to charge the same amount; That would be collusion! You must compete. But not too much, For if you do, you see, Then the market would be yours -- And that's monopoly!" Price too high? Or price too low? Now which charge did they make? Well, they weren't loath to charging both With public good at stake! In fact, they went one better -- They charged "monopoly!" No muss, no fuss. Oh woe is us, Egad they charged all three! David Olson ..!ihnp4!drutx!dlo