[net.rumor] Corn Flakes

wetcw@pyuxa.UUCP (T C Wheeler) (08/09/84)

You heard right.  Pastor Kellog did develop corn flakes as, what
he thought, a sex drive inhibitor.  Glad it didn't work, aren't
you?
T. C. Wheeler

wjhe@hlexa.UUCP (Bill Hery) (08/10/84)

I haven't heard about corn flakes being invented to supress sex drives, but
I have heard from reliable sources (way before Trivial Pursuit) that
graham crackers were developed by a Dr. Graham for that purpose.  Could
your source have confused the foods?

Bill Hery

knudsen@ihnss.UUCP (08/11/84)

If I learned anything in grad school (MIT), it is that Post"s Grape
Nuts Flakes do absolutley nothing to prevent manual simulation (stimulation?).

riks@mako.UUCP (08/14/84)

Gee, I've found that corn flakes do a fine job of inhibiting
the sex drive.  It all depends on what you do with them.
Sprinkle a few under the covers and see if you get 'any'.
Worse yet, wet them with milk first.
OK, OK.  I won't be ridiculous.

Why do you suppose that when people go out for a romantic
dinner they have things like salad, poached halibut, lovers' eggplant,
or sirloin steak, but hardly ever cornflakes?  That's right: it's
too close to bedtime.
And why else would people eat them in the morning before going to work?
They want to avoid having inappropriate urges at inopportune times.
(like lusting after the boss during status reports)
The effects wear off in a few hours so a breakfast of cornflakes 
should not inhibit your performance that evening.

Rik Smoody

olney@fortune.UUCP (John Olney) (08/14/84)

:-)

>  Pastor Kellog did develop corn flakes as ... a sex drive inhibitor.
>  Glad it didn't work, aren't you?

How do you know it didn't work?
It may have, and now there's no way to tell!

	-- jho

jmoore@opus.UUCP (Jim Moore) (08/14/84)

If you find out the details of the story could you summarize?
I'm curious about the meaning of the term 'cure'. Does that mean
curtail or make more gratifying?

pkelly@westcsr.UUCP (Paul Kelly) (08/15/84)

#ifdef BUGS

I was recently party to a rumour that Mr. Kellogg originally invented 
his famous cornflakes not as a convenience food, but as a patent medicine.
As a cure for masturbation.

   Now this is, of course, only a rumour. If anyone can confirm (or, perish
the thought, deny), please mail me. I will report back with any conclusions.

Yours, Paul Kelly, Dept. of Comp. Sci. Westfield College, Univ. of London.

( ...vax135!ukc!west44!westcsr )

Alternatively, any suggestions as to how I might find out would be appreciated.
Can anyone report upon its efficacy?

trb@masscomp.UUCP (08/18/84)

I have always found that topical application of Corn Flakes enhanced
the stimulation.  Hardly a cure for masturbation.

	Not to be taken internally,
	Andy Tannenbaum   Masscomp Inc  Westford MA   (617) 692-6200 x274

werner@ut-ngp.UUCP (Werner Uhrig) (08/20/84)

[ snap crackle    POP ..... ]

corn flakes are the obvious alternative to those of us with a weak heart
who can't do the cold-water-trick ....

	roll in them with closed eyes and imagine the fireworks ....

	add a touch of sweaty realism with a little milk ...
		(you were going to shower afterwards anyway, right ? )

			Honte, qui mal y pense !!

[I was not going to 'contribute' but... "Andy made me do it"]

manis@ubc-vision.CDN (Vincent Manis) (08/30/84)

Actually, there's a lot more to both the corn flake and graham
cracker stories. 
 
Rev. Sylvester Graham invented his eponymous crackers in 
the 1840's because he felt that young people  were eating
food that was too spicy, thus making them lustful. He 
developed a bland whole-wheat flour that was alleged
to not excite lurid passions. The honey, and later 
pie-crust crumbs, are later additions.
 
Rev. Kellogg had elaborate theories about health food. As a
^result, he opened the Battle Creek Sanatarium in the late
19th century. I believe it was a brother who developed the
corn flakes. Prevention of masturbation was only one of the
goals of the magic flake: it was also to clean the body of
(unspecified) bodily poisons. Rev. Kellogg added corn flakes
to the diet at the Sanatarium.

But it's important to know *why* masturbation had to be 
prevented. It wasn't the usual hair on the palm, or blindness
in later life. No, masturbation caused insanity. Many
doctors had discovered this in their patients, and 
had as a result prescribed chastity belts, saltpeter,
and herbal teas to cool the patient's passions. Corn flakes
seemed like a less drastic way of preventing the patient 
from going (graham?) crackers. One of Thomas Szasz's books has
a chapter on this amazing phenomenon.
 
Let's hear it for General Jack D. Ripper, a man who kept 
all his precious essences. And look where it got him.