jaw@ames.UUCP (James A. Woods) (12/31/85)
# "We've got to tell people not *everybody* grew up to be cowboys.
We grew up to be punk scientists." -- excerpt, Devo interview
Only now, last week's chance lunch meeting at Bushnell's Lion and
Compass is starting to make sense. All we saw were the Mac-beige Mercedes
parked next to the telltale Toyota from Sun -- he really should trade
that thing in for a Jag XJ6 (just sedate enough around these parts not to
drip too obviously of freshly-cashed stock options like those loud
Testarossas and Lamborghinis.)
The conversation can only be partially reconstructed from the tape, as
the din was too high to catch the nuances. The faces are hidden but provided
with affiliations to belabor the obvious. For visual aid, imagine a setup
similar to those smarmy Nat. Semi ads -- you know, the Paco Rabani-style
scene where the silk-shirted beard (a hot shot Unix port specialist in
disguise) first pleads with the suit for a better workstation.
Sun: so what's with the $330 million extra cash -- you must look like the
proverbial cow to Ivan Boesky and his takeover bunch.
Apple: yeah, it's a problem, but now that Sculley opened his mouth about
the Unix bit, we have a nice nest egg for R & D.
Sun: why reinvent the wheel -- you know how many guys we got who've
redone the Mac toolbox in C during their lunchbreaks? It's
amazing how many O.S. weenies can't fathom how the Mac interface
would sit nicely atop BSD.
Apple: sure! [French accent chuckle] how you Americans say...
sit on my interface and tell me that you love me...
Sun: look, *you* know about the January IBM announcement, and *I* know
about it (damn MIT collaborators), but someone's gonna get squeezed.
DEC is nowhere, their ULTRIX window package is Swiss cheese.
Apollo's lost touch, and Jobs' Next Inc. won't be here for two years
after that Eisenstat legal crowbar,
Apple: ha, a joke to be sure, five guys and a RISC chip.
Unix is fait accompli, but what's really bugging us is
that they cannot ramp up fast enough on those 68020 jobs.
We're courting MIPS, but, sacre bleu, no software yet!
Sun: so, what i say. We've already got the Laserwriter reselling
agreement, half of your waylayed marketing reps after the re-org,
those clever Xerox PARC refugees, our hiring plans at work for
the Sys5 conversion. Again, why steal from the same talent pool?
The Kodak 20% interest shouldn't cause too much trouble.
Apple: hmmm... Finally though, we're rid of those assembler hackers.
Hertzfeld, Atkinson and crew for too damn long have tried to hold
Apple ransom with the proprietary O.S. Merde, that was close!
Ho ho, we just gave them new Porsches to make amends --
I understand they now come with automatic transmissions...
Sun: [interrupting] uh huh, just like assembly coding; the extra
10% efficiency from a stick just isn't worth the hassle on
bumper-to-bumper U.S. 101.
Apple: care for more champagne? You California people keep trying with
ze nouveau Shadow Creek, the overated Schramsberg, the fake blanc de
noir. I'll stick with the Taittinger 1975 blanc de blanc.
Sun: nah, gotta be off to captain the volleyball game. Catch ya later.
-- via James A. Woods (ames!jaw)