pagiven@drutx.UUCP (GivenP) (02/25/86)
-
This newsgroup was raging with a rumor about a future particle
accelerator capable of producing energies high enough to cause the
present universe to change state (i.e., the known laws of physics
would change).
I must, regretfully, inform the net that such machine must have
been built, because I have observed that basic fundamental univer-
sal laws have begun to change.
I was standing before a vending machine, quarter in hand, deciding
which product to buy therefrom. As I was placing the coin in the
slot, it slipped from my hand, fell upon the floor, rolled in lazy
circles, and came to rest beside my feet. It obviously should have
rolled underneath the vending machine, down the nearby drain, or
into the floor vent, never to be seen again.
Murphy's Law (The probability of anything happening is inversely
proportional to its desirability), known to physicists from the
ancient Greek times to be one of the fundamental laws of the
universe, has been violated. The fabric of the space-time contin-
uum has been torn asunder and the end is near.
See you on the other side.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Paul Given {ihnp4, houxe, stcvax!ihnp4}!drutx!pagiven
AT&T Information Systems Laboratories
11900 N. Pecos, Rm 1B04, Denver 80234 (303)-538-4058
-----------------------------------------------------------------slb@drutx.UUCP (Sue Brezden) (02/25/86)
Yes, it is true--the end is near!
Sunday I did all my washing. NOT ONE SOCK DISAPPEARED IN THE DRYER.
The effect has obviously started in the Denver area--no doubt
initiated by some bizarre isotope at Rocky Flats.
--
Sue Brezden
ihnp4!drutx!slb
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nirvana? That's a place where the powers that be and
their friends hang out.
--Zonker Harris
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~mrgofor@mmm.UUCP (MKR) (02/27/86)
In article <681@drutx.UUCP> slb@drutx.UUCP (Sue Brezden) writes: > > >Yes, it is true--the end is near! > >Sunday I did all my washing. NOT ONE SOCK DISAPPEARED IN THE DRYER. Ohmigod!!!! I think you're right. I looked in my closet this morning, and ALL OF THE HANGERS WERE HOOKED ON THE POLE IN THE SAME DIRECTION!!! Sell the kids! Pack up the house! Burn the fields! We're coming to join you, Ubizmo! -- --MKR When in Rome, do as the ancient Etruscans used to do before they became extinct because of the things they used to do.
phillips@cisden.UUCP (Tom Phillips) (02/28/86)
In article <680@drutx.UUCP> pagiven@drutx.UUCP (GivenP) writes: >Murphy's Law (The probability of anything happening is inversely >proportional to its desirability), known to physicists from the >ancient Greek times to be one of the fundamental laws of the >universe, has been violated. The fabric of the space-time contin- >uum has been torn asunder and the end is near. This is true. The other day I pushed the Mountain Dew button on our pop machine and got TWO! Murphy rolled over in his grave, but there was nothing he could do about it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH -- Tommy Phillips From the banks of the great grey-green greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fever-trees. cisden!phillips
nessus@mit-eddie.UUCP (Doug Alan) (03/02/86)
> This is true. The other day I pushed the Mountain Dew button on our pop > machine and got TWO! Murphy rolled over in his grave, but there was nothing > he could do about it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH > > Tommy Phillips It seems to me that in this case Murphy's law is working just fine. It's just gotten smarter.
tim@ism780c.UUCP (Tim Smith) (03/04/86)
Not losing socks? Hangers pointing the same way? Humbug! I have ***REAL*** evidence that the laws of physics have changed. I just read something intelligent on net.religion... -- Tim Smith sdcrdcf!ism780c!tim || ima!ism780!tim || ihnp4!cithep!tim
john@moncol.UUCP (John Ruschmeyer) (03/04/86)
In article <680@drutx.UUCP> pagiven@drutx.UUCP (GivenP) writes: > >This newsgroup was raging with a rumor about a future particle >accelerator capable of producing energies high enough to cause the >present universe to change state (i.e., the known laws of physics >would change). > >I must, regretfully, inform the net that such machine must have >been built, because I have observed that basic fundamental univer- >sal laws have begun to change. > >I was standing before a vending machine, quarter in hand, deciding >which product to buy therefrom. As I was placing the coin in the >slot, it slipped from my hand, fell upon the floor, rolled in lazy >circles, and came to rest beside my feet. It obviously should have >rolled underneath the vending machine, down the nearby drain, or >into the floor vent, never to be seen again. > >Murphy's Law (The probability of anything happening is inversely >proportional to its desirability), known to physicists from the >ancient Greek times to be one of the fundamental laws of the >universe, has been violated. The fabric of the space-time contin- >uum has been torn asunder and the end is near. Ah... if you're expecting something to happen and it does, then you are saying that one of Murphy's Laws has been violated. But, in this case, you were expecting the worst to happen and it didn't. Therefore, Murphy's Law has not been violated- what you expected to happen did not. Relax, everyone. The universe is safe. You may return to your news reading. -- Name: John Ruschmeyer US Mail: Monmouth College, W. Long Branch, NJ 07764 Phone: (201) 571-3451 UUCP: ...!vax135!petsd!moncol!john ...!princeton!moncol!john ...!pesnta!moncol!john Give an ape control of its environment and it will fill the world with bananas.
cwd@cuae2.UUCP (Chris Donahue) (03/04/86)
The universe must be close to its end. I was able to get a parking spot right outside of the restaurant I was going to in downtown Chicago. I normally park 5 blocks away! Then, to top it off, I got one right next to the bar I was going to on a side street! A side street! Those cars on the street never move! Chris Donahue
jkw@lanl.ARPA (Jay Wooten) (03/04/86)
> ............. The other day I pushed the Mountain Dew button on our pop > machine and got TWO! Murphy rolled over in his grave, but there was nothing > he could do about it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH > -- > Tommy Phillips > From the banks of the great grey-green greasy Limpopo River, > all set about with fever-trees. > > cisden!phillips The ways of Murphy are subtle...have you considered the effects on your brain and body of 2 Mountain Dews back to back ??? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~ Dust in the wind...All we are is dust in the wind......... ~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jay Wooten Los Alamos National Lab ARPA:jkw@lanl.ARPA
hsu@eneevax.UUCP (Dave Hsu) (03/05/86)
In article <70@lanl.ARPA> jkw@lanl.UUCP writes: >> ............. The other day I pushed the Mountain Dew button on our pop >> machine and got TWO! Murphy rolled over in his grave, but there was nothing >> he could do about it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH >> -- >> Tommy Phillips > >The ways of Murphy are subtle...have you considered the effects on your brain >and body of 2 Mountain Dews back to back ??? > > Jay Wooten Los Alamos National Lab ARPA:jkw@lanl.ARPA My empty Mountain Dew can stack grows higher daily. And Tommy, fear not, it's not the end of the world. We had a nice Pepsi machine here from which, for only 25 cents (sometimes) you could extract two Mug Root Beers, and one of anything else. The (sometimes) pertaining to the price; you could always get the root beers at any rate. This was cured the quick-and-dirty way; instead of repairing the machine, they changed the root-beer reservoir into one of Diet Pepsi. Have you considered the effects on non-synthetic materials of two Mug Root Beers back to back? -dave -- David Hsu Communication & Signal Processing Lab, EE Department <disclaimer> University of Maryland, College Park, MD 20742 hsu@eneevax.umd.edu {seismo,allegra}!umcp-cs!eneevax!hsu "Godzilla has been spotted in Sector 5!"
bangs@h-sc1.UUCP (alex bangs) (03/06/86)
* >> This is true. The other day I pushed the Mountain Dew button on our pop >> machine and got TWO! Murphy rolled over in his grave, but there was nothing >> he could do about it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH >It seems to me that in this case Murphy's law is working just fine. >It's just gotten smarter. I would say that it is just a standard part of Murphy's Law that no one discusses. That is, usually the traffic on the other side of the highway is moving faster than your side, but * sometimes * you are actually on the good side. It just gives you a little confidence before you get screwed again. -- Alex L. Bangs Harvard University net: bangs@h-sc4.UUCP bangs@h-sc4.HARVARD.EDU
john@cisden.UUCP (John Woolley) (03/06/86)
In article <70@lanl.ARPA> jkw@lanl.ARPA (Jay Wooten) writes: >> ............. The other day I pushed the Mountain Dew button on our pop >> machine and got TWO! Murphy rolled over in his grave, but there was nothing >> he could do about it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH >> Tommy Phillips > >The ways of Murphy are subtle...have you considered the effects on your brain >and body of 2 Mountain Dews back to back ??? Mr. Wooten doesn't know Tommy Phillips. Tommy is a friend of mine, and I think I can safely say that no non-fatal dose of any drug, Mountain Dew included, would affect him noticeably one way or the other. Just setting the record straight. -- Peace and Good!, Fr. John Woolley "Compared to what I have seen, all that I have written is straw." -- St. Thomas
m113aw@brahms.BERKELEY.EDU (Ariel Mazzarelli) (03/07/86)
It is my understanding that the recent hospitalization of the author of "Bloom County" is the result of recent efforts by a certain religious Christian Fundamentalist sect in order to prevent the announcement of the apocalypse a-la-Halley's comet, which a certain cartoon hacker was disseminating with the help of his Banana Jr. I cannot sign this, for I have not purchased apocalypse insurance.
ins_ampm@jhunix.UUCP (Michael P McKenna) (03/07/86)
In article <1794@cuae2.UUCP> cwd@cuae2.UUCP (-Chris Donahue) writes: >The universe must be close to its end. I was able to get a parking spot >right outside of the restaurant I was going to in downtown Chicago. I normally >park 5 blocks away! Then, to top it off, I got one right next to the bar >I was going to on a side street! A side street! Those cars on the street never >move! > What you (and the guy who got two Mountain Dews), are failing to realize is that Murphy's law is NOT EXEMPT from Murphy's Law. Dwight S. Wilson
nather@utastro.UUCP (Ed Nather) (03/07/86)
Look, people, stop worrying about this issue.
The Universe will end when I tell it to, and not one minute before.
--
Ed Nather
Astronomy Dept, U of Texas @ Austin
{allegra,ihnp4}!{noao,ut-sally}!utastro!nather
nather@astro.UTEXAS.EDUcarl@proper.UUCP (Carl Greenberg) (03/09/86)
In article <532@cisden.UUCP> phillips@cisden.UUCP (Tom Phillips) writes: >In article <680@drutx.UUCP> pagiven@drutx.UUCP (GivenP) writes: >>Murphy's Law (The probability of anything happening is inversely >>proportional to its desirability), known to physicists from the >>ancient Greek times to be one of the fundamental laws of the >>universe, has been violated. The fabric of the space-time contin- >>uum has been torn asunder and the end is near. > >This is true. The other day I pushed the Mountain Dew button on our pop >machine and got TWO! Murphy rolled over in his grave, but there was nothing >he could do about it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH A few days ago, I walked over to a Coke machine, put a quarter in, and all of a sudden it just dropped right through. I repeated this process a few times, and then pushed a button: I got a free Coke! Something for nothing! Murphy is spinning in his grave. Carl Greenberg
mcewan@uiucdcs.CS.UIUC.EDU (03/10/86)
> Not losing socks? Hangers pointing the same way? Humbug! I have > ***REAL*** evidence that the laws of physics have changed. I just > read something intelligent on net.religion... It was probably generated by line noise. Scott McEwan {ihnp4,pur-ee}!uiucdcs!mcewan "I'm sorry, sir. According to your identification you're not even born yet. Come back in 500 years."
gottlieb@alliant.UUCP (Bob Gottlieb) (03/11/86)
In article <479@utastro.UUCP> nather@utastro.UUCP (Ed Nather) writes: >Look, people, stop worrying about this issue. >The Universe will end when I tell it to, and not one minute before. ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^^^ ^^^^^^ Based on what I've been hearing about Thiotimoline, I suspect that the universe WILL end one minute before you tell it to. -- -- Bob Gottlieb UUCP: ...!linus!alliant!gottlieb Mail: Alliant Computer Systems Corp, 42 Nagog Park, Acton, MA 01720 Phone: (617) 263-9110 Foot: "You can't get there from here". --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I don't know what I'm doing, and Alliant isn't responsible either, so there!"
kaufman@uiucdcs.CS.UIUC.EDU (03/11/86)
You people forget those vital meta-laws:
If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.
If one or more things that could have gone wrong didn't, it is probably
because it would have been ultimately beneficial for them to have gone
wrong.
Ken Kaufman (uiucdcs!kaufman)
"Remember these three words: Don't argue."
"That's two words."
"You're starting already!"hutch@hammer.UUCP (Stephen Hutchison) (03/11/86)
In article <107@proper.UUCP> carl@proper.UUCP (Carl Greenberg) writes: >In article <532@cisden.UUCP> phillips@cisden.UUCP (Tom Phillips) writes: >>In article <680@drutx.UUCP> pagiven@drutx.UUCP (GivenP) writes: >>>Murphy's Law (The probability of anything happening is inversely >>>proportional to its desirability), known to physicists from the >>>ancient Greek times to be one of the fundamental laws of the >>>universe, has been violated. The fabric of the space-time contin- >>>uum has been torn asunder and the end is near. >A few days ago, I walked over to a Coke machine, put a quarter in, and all >of a sudden it just dropped right through. I repeated this process a few >times, and then pushed a button: I got a free Coke! Something for nothing! >Murphy is spinning in his grave. > Carl Greenberg Especially uncomfortable for poor Murphy since he is still quite alive! Hutch
bob@scgvaxd.UUCP (Bob Guernsey) (03/11/86)
>>>Murphy's Law (The probability of anything happening is inversely >>>proportional to its desirability), known to physicists from the >>>ancient Greek times to be one of the fundamental laws of the >>>universe, has been violated. The fabric of the space-time contin- >>>uum has been torn asunder and the end is near. >> >>This is true. The other day I pushed the Mountain Dew button on our pop >>machine and got TWO! Murphy rolled over in his grave, but there was nothing >>he could do about it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH >A few days ago, I walked over to a Coke machine, put a quarter in, and all >of a sudden it just dropped right through. I repeated this process a few >times, and then pushed a button: I got a free Coke! Something for nothing! >Murphy is spinning in his grave. Murphy Keep on spinning. A few years ago, I was getting change from a dollar change machine at a laundromat. The machine refused to take my dollar after repeated tries. Suddenly another came out of the machine and there I was with two dollars instead of one. !Sorry Murphy... These things happen.! Posted for Eric Morgan by Bob Guernsey.
kaufman@uiucdcs.CS.UIUC.EDU (03/12/86)
> Look, people, stop worrying about this issue. > The Universe will end when I tell it to, and not one minute before. Not only that, but it will end precisely one minute before I was about to tell it to do so. Better late than never, Ken Kaufman (uiucdcs!kaufman)
pete@valid.UUCP (Pete Zakel) (03/13/86)
I haven't lost any socks for at least 2 months. I think this confirms it,
the universe will end soon and YOU may die!
--
-Pete Zakel (..!{hplabs,amd,pyramid,ihnp4}!pesnta!valid!pete)mrgofor@mmm.UUCP (MKR) (03/13/86)
In article <179@moncol.UUCP> john@moncol.UUCP (John Ruschmeyer) writes: >In article <680@drutx.UUCP> pagiven@drutx.UUCP (GivenP) writes: >> >>Murphy's Law (The probability of anything happening is inversely >>proportional to its desirability), known to physicists from the >>ancient Greek times to be one of the fundamental laws of the >>universe, has been violated. The fabric of the space-time contin- >>uum has been torn asunder and the end is near. > >Ah... if you're expecting something to happen and it does, then you are >saying that one of Murphy's Laws has been violated. > >But, in this case, you were expecting the worst to happen and it didn't. >Therefore, Murphy's Law has not been violated- what you expected to happen >did not. > There is a corrallary to Murphy's Law to the effect that: "Washing your car to make it rain won't work. " -- --MKR If Man were meant to use the metric system, Jesus would have had 10 disciples.
okin@sun.uucp (Ken Okin) (03/14/86)
> > You people forget those vital meta-laws: > > If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will. > > If one or more things that could have gone wrong didn't, it is probably > because it would have been ultimately beneficial for them to have gone > wrong. > > Ken Kaufman (uiucdcs!kaufman) They also could be waiting for a *better* opportunity to go wrong. There's also Murphy's law of project management: "If everything appears to be going smoothly, you're obviously *not* fully informed." Ken Okin (sun!niko!okin)
mwm@ucbopal.BERKELEY.EDU (Mike (I'll be mellow when I'm dead) Meyer) (03/15/86)
In article <479@utastro.UUCP> nather@utastro.UUCP (Ed Nather) writes: >Look, people, stop worrying about this issue. >The Universe will end when I tell it to, and not one minute before. Sorry, Ed, but I asked it about that last week. The Universe ended two weeks ago last Wednesday, and is really bummed out because nobody noticed. That's why things aren't going wrong right. <mike
sji2796@ritcv.UUCP (03/15/86)
In article <3359@sun.uucp> okin@sun.uucp (Ken Okin) writes: >There's also Murphy's law of project management: > > "If everything appears to be going smoothly, > you're obviously *not* fully informed." > See? The way I heard that was: "If you can keep your head while all about you are losing theirs, then you probably haven't checked with your answering service." Rudyard Kipling, quoted by Hawkeye Pierce ("Welcome To Korea," pt I)
ugfailau@sunybcs.UUCP (Fai Lau) (03/18/86)
> > > Look, people, stop worrying about this issue. > > > The Universe will end when I tell it to, and not one minute before. > > Not only that, but it will end precisely one minute before I was about > to tell it to do so. > > Better late than never, > Ken Kaufman (uiucdcs!kaufman) I'll be there with a stop watch to help you out. "When you're late, you have to be late on time." +-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Fai Lau | | ECE / CS SUNYAB | | BI: ugfailau@sunybcs | +-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
mag@gitpyr.UUCP (Mark A. Gravitt) (03/19/86)
In article <546@scgvaxd.UUCP> bob@scgvaxd.UUCP (Bob Guernsey) writes: >Murphy Keep on spinning. A few years ago, I was getting change from a >dollar change machine at a laundromat. The machine refused to take my >dollar after repeated tries. Suddenly another came out of the machine >and there I was with two dollars instead of one. !Sorry Murphy... These >things happen.! > Posted for Eric Morgan > by Bob Guernsey. It all depends on your point of view. To those who had to maintain that bill changer, Murphy's Law behaved almost as expected. Of course, for it to be a true Murphy machine, it should have torn your dollar in two, given you $0.45 and half of the bill... -- Mark A. Gravitt User Assistant III Office of Computing Services Georgia Insitute of Technology, Atlanta Georgia, 30332 UUCP: ...!{akgua,allegra,amd,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo,ut-ngp}!gatech!gitpyr!mag BITNET: CCASTMG AT GITVM1
merrill@dec-raja.UUCP (03/25/86)
ohmigowd Murphy's law is recursive! lemmesee if something goes wrong and i was expecting it to then it didn't... nowaitaminute Murphys law says that whatever i expect to happen won't ... nevermind!