dbercel@ucb-vax.ARPA (08/12/85)
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NEW PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE EMPHASIZES NOVICE USERS
The California State University at Northridge announced today its
entry into the ever growing field of new programming languages. The new
language, dubbed VALGOL, is aimed at the inexperienced programmer. "Most
programming languages assume too much sophistication from the user,"
charges the VALGOL report. "Our goal is to produce a language which is
eminently usable by novices and casuals, as well as experienced
professionals."
Supplying a small but powerful set of control structures and a well
developed run-time library may help VALGOL meet its goals. VALGOL '83
implements a simple conditional ("if ... like ... I'm sure .. ") and
iteration construct ("for ... sure"). Output is handled by a built in
function ("barfout( text )"). The user interface has been similarly
revamped, VALGOL flagging errors with few messages that handle
violations in a uniform way. Examples are: "Like, gag me with a spoon!"
(semantic pass failed), "Bag your input!" (syntax error), "Euw, totally
gross!" (error recovery failure).
A novel idea of VALGOL is success reporting. "Novices often feel
punished by contemporary languages. Novice, and especially young, users
need frequent rewards, and it is our belief that the language system
should supply them." Syntactically valid statements generate, for
example, "Like, rad," or "That's ok, you know?". Error free programs are
deemed "Maximally awesome" by the compiler.
Whether or not VALGOL meets its goals remains to be seen, but the
initial response to the language has been enthusiastic. "Even total
airheads will be able to cool to VALGOL," said one user. Another gave
even stronger praise, saying "Most languages are a total turn-off, you
know, they're positively grody to the max, but VALGOL is, like, super
bitchen." CSUN will demonstrate VALGOL starting in April at the Sherman
Oaks Galleria in Los Angeles, California.
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Here is an update on some of the "lesser known" computer languages.
Basic, Fortran, Cobol ... These programming languages are well-known
and more or less well-loved throughout the computer industry. There are
numerous other languages, however, that are less well known yet still
have ardent devotees. In fact, these little-known languages generally
have the most fanatic admirers. For those who wish to know more about
these obscure languages - and why they are obscure - I present the
following catalog.
VALGOL:
VALGOL (With special thanks to Dan and Betsey "Moon Unit" Pfau).
>From its modest beginnings in Southern California's San Fernando Valley,
Valgol is enjoying a dramatic surge of popularity across the industry.
VALGOL commands include REALLY, LIKE, WELL, AND Y$KNOW. Variables
are assigned with the =LIKE and =TOTALLY operators. Other operators
include the "CALIFORNIA BOOLIANS": FERSURE and NOWAY. Repetitions of
code are handled in FOR-SURE loops. Here is a sample VALGOL program:
10 LIKE, Y$KNOW (I MEAN) START / IF
30 PI A = LIKE BITCHEN AND
40 B = LIKE TUBULAR AND
50 C = LIKE GRODY**MAX
70 THEN
80 FOR I = LIKE 1 TO OH MAYBE 100
60 BARF(I) = TOTALLY GROSS(OUT)
50 SURE
40 IF LIKE BAG THIS PROGRAM
30 ? REALLY
20 $$ LIKE TOTALLY (Y$KNOW)
10 NOWAY = TRUE
SIMPLE:
SIMPLE is an acronym fore Sheer Idiot's Mono-Purpose Programming
Linguistic Environment. This language, developed at Hanover College for
Technological Misfits, was designed to make it impossible to write code
with errors in it. The statements are therefore confined to BEGIN, END,
and STOP. No matter how you arrange the statements, you can't make a
syntax error.
Programs written in SIMPLE do nothing useful. Thus they achieve the
results of programs written in other languages without the tedious,
frustrating process of testing and debugging.
SLOBOL:
SLOBOL is best known for the speed, or lack of it, of its compiler.
Although many compilers allow you to take a coffee break while they
compile, SLOBOL compilers allow you to take a trip to Bolivia to pick up
the beans. Forty three programmers are known to have died of boredom
sitting at their terminal while waiting for a SLOBOL program to compile.
LAIDBACK:
Historically VALGOL is a derivative of LAIDBACK, which was developed
at the (now defunct) Marin County Center for T'ai Chi, Mellowness, and
computer Programming, as an alternative to the more intense atmosphere
in the Silicon Valley.
The center was ideal for programmers who liked to soak in hot tubs
while they worked. Unfortunately, few programmers could survive there
for long, since the center outlawed pizza and RC Cola in favor of bean
curd and Perrier.
Many mourn the demise of LAIDBACK because of its reputation as a
gentle and nonthreatening language. For example, LAIDBACK responded to
syntax errors with the message, SORRY MAN, I CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT.
SARTRE:
SARTRE is named after the late existential philosopher. SATRRE is an
extremely unstructured language. Statements in SARTRE have no purpose
they just are there. Thus, SARTRE programs are left to define their own
functions. SARTRE programmers tend to be boring and depressed and are
no fun at parties.
C-:
This language was named for the grade received by its creator when
he submitted it as a class project in a graduate programming class. C-
is best described as a "Low-Level" programming language. In fact, the
language generally requires more C- statements then machine-code
statements to execute a given task. In this respect, it is very similar
to COBOL.
LITHP:
This otherwise remarkable language is distinguished by the absence
of an "s" in it's character set. Programmers and users must substitute
"TH". LITHP is thaid to be utheful in prothething lithtths.
DOGO:
Developed at the Massachusetts Institute of Obedience Training. DOGO
heralds a new era of computer-literate pets. DOGO commands include SIT,
STAY, HEEL, and ROLL OVER. An innovative feature of DOGO is "PUPPY
GRAPHICS", in which a small cocker is the turtle.
dani/elle
Johnny Slash lives forever.tim@cithep.UucP (Tim Smith ) (08/29/85)
> bitchen." CSUN will demonstrate VALGOL starting in April at the Sherman > Oaks Galleria in Los Angeles, California. I thought that the Sherman Oaks Galleria was in Sherman Oaks. -- unlk a6 rts Tim Smith ihnp4!{wlbr!callan,cithep}!tim