cjh (04/15/83)
In Chicago the 'outfit' has been perfecting a way of committing suicide that insurance companies still have to payoff for. The method follows. 1) Go to a busy parking lot and park behind another car. 2) Tie a length of medium strength string to the bumper of the other car and the other end to a gun. 3) Open your trunk, get in, and hook your fingers to the trunk lid. 4) Make sure the string on the gun is short enough that it won't reach into your trunk. 5) Aim carefully at your head and pull the trigger. When the trigger is pulled the gun goes off and falls to the ground. The weight of the arm causes it to fall inside the trunk. The weight of the other arm causes the trunk lid to close. The other car leaves pulling the gun. The string breaks a short distance away. The gun looks like it was discarded by someone. This looks like murder so the insurance company has to payoff. This way ones family can be provided for even after a suicide. They've been perfecting this since the '20s and it works every time. Humorously C. J. Holzwarth ihuxr!cjh