mr.mincemeat@syteka.UUCP (mr.mincemeat) (03/07/84)
Personal opinions blatantly presented as facts dept:
To my mincemind, there are two main kind of suicidal gestures.
The one which seems to have formed the public image of suicidal thinking;
(grossly exaggerated example): whining, puling wimp makes small cuts on
body parts, rushes dribbling into public area, shouts "arr! mommy! I'm
dying!" in order to be fussed over, patted, paid attention to, etc.
This is the sort of thing I refer to as a 'gesture' because the intent is
NOT to die, but to get some of the personal strokes missing from the
gesticulator's life. This may seem on the face of it to be a pretty
cowardly and manipulative way of getting anything, but it must be remembered
that people who are willing to cause themselves pain for whatever reasons
are not in a very sensible frame of mind... I have to remind myself to
agree with my own opinion here, because I have a rough time with wimps myself;
we must remember that people get handed a lot of shit at early ages when they
aren't able to form useful responses; wimps aren't to blame for being timid;
A person who makes this kind of gesture isn't able (or willing, for whatever
reason) to say "Gee. I feel lonely and empty. Got any suggestions?"
So, they do crazy things for reasons which aren't at all crazy. There is
nothing wrong with wanting to be fussed over, patted and paid attention to,
in fact people who don't get enough of these strokes DO get crazy. This
sort of person needs to be helped to see that if what one wants is a hug,
one is better off putting out other signals than "fuck you all, I'm leaving".
The other sort of suicidal gesture is a lot more understandable to me,
the Serious Intent to Die. People who leap in front of trains aren't
really expecting to be picked up and patted. They have given up on hope
of getting what they want out of life, or are too proud or hung up on
concepts of independence and power to ask; This is why men are more likely
to go for real death instead of 'cries for help'; Real Men NEVER cry.
The way out of this one, of course, is the same as the first. We will not
get what we want unless we can admit that we don't have it, and break down
and ask. I personally haven't gone either of these immediate routes,
opting instead for slow death by bourbon and Camels, and some other
interesting veiled self-destructions...
Anyway, questions of 'cowardice' or 'bravery' or 'crepuscularity' are
all equally inapplicable, really. The essentials, I think, are making
roads out of despair more publicly visible, and making it easier for people
to deal with misery without having to go through all the shit associated
with 'admitting' what are perfectly reasonable feelings. There's nothing
wrong with being depressed by feeling hopeless and alone, and the world
we live in is pretty good at giving people those feelings, or opportunity
to feel them anyway. Telling people they are assholes or ultimate
cowards because they feel hopeless is not going to improve matters.
After all, we are all just confused monkeys wondering where the hell the
trees are, and what are we going to do when the tigers come; We get born,
we do some stuff, and we die, and we will all be a lot cheerier about this
little exercise if we are less hard on each other's foibles, especially
our own.
mr.(life is meaningless but not empty)mincemeat
{hplabs, menlo70, zehntel, sdcrdcf}!sytek!tomsccf@cbosgd.UUCP (Chuck F.) (03/12/84)
I must agree with mincemeat here. Certainly in my experience as a worker in the hemorrhoid unit of Children's Hospital, I can vouch that all the little bastards want is attention when they come in dribbling, puling, and whining. It is quite disgusting; sometimes even I have to leave. (Fortunately, the hurlers-at-trains are a bit more serious about it; anyway they don't come to the hemorrhoid unit.) But mincemeat said it all. The essential thing is to make it easier for people to deal with misery without having to go through shit. Hear hear! *<--- chuck --->* cbosgd!ccf BTL Columbus