entropy@fluke.UUCP (Terrence J. Mason) (08/20/85)
Isn't it the Hemlock Society that supports the right to commit suicide? I wonder if it is possible to find a legitimate purpose for this newsgroup other than the occasional, whimsical posting... I have a friend who is suicidal from time to time and my ignorance of this aspect of human behavior limits my desire to help to such things as being available to 'talk it over' and recommending counseling. Not so curiously, the suggestion for counseling is not well received since suicidal tendencies probably do not completely displace an individual's sense of identity and desire to preserve the ego (although not the body). Can we, in a delicate but sincere manner, discuss suicide. I mean the motivations for it, its relation (or lack of one) to mental or physical disorders, how friends have or should deal with the situation. I'm not looking for textbook lectures; clinical dogma changes with time and I can get that from a library. I'm looking for personal experience, anecdotes and just plain thoughts, from those who know people who are or were suicidal, or those who themselves are like this. Terry Mason
morrism@ecn-aa.UUCP (Mitchell J Morrison) (08/21/85)
> Isn't it the Hemlock Society that supports the right to commit suicide? Probably true. > I wonder if it is possible to find a legitimate purpose for this newsgroup > other than the occasional, whimsical posting... > etc. etc. I agree 1000%!! > Can we, in a delicate but sincere manner, discuss suicide. I mean the > motivations for it, its relation (or lack of one) to mental or physical > disorders, how friends have or should deal with the situation. I'm not > looking for textbook lectures; clinical dogma changes with time and I can get > that from a library. I'm looking for personal experience, anecdotes and just > plain thoughts, from those who know people who are or were suicidal, or those > who themselves are like this. > Terry Mason Okay. I am new to the net, but from what I hear, this newsgroup gets about 1 suicide note every month. That is not what i look for in a newsgroup. In any case, Terry has an excellent idea. And in any case, I believe if they will not let us use this newsgroup, one should be started on this subject. -morrism- Mitchell J. Morrison Hacker/Progrmmer/Consultant at Large UUCP: {decvax, ihnp4, seismo, ucbvax}!pur-ee!ecn-aa!morrism U.S. Mail: 902 S. 9th St. Lafayette, IN 47905 Ma Bell: 317-423-2054 or 317-742-5259 (both voice)
charli@cylixd.UUCP (Charli Phillips) (08/21/85)
>I have a friend who is suicidal from time to time and my ignorance of this >aspect of human behavior limits my desire to help to such things as being >available to 'talk it over' and recommending counseling. > >Can we, in a delicate but sincere manner, discuss suicide. > >Terry Mason I cannot discuss suicide in a "delicate" manner. One friend of mine tried to kill herself by taking an overdose of pills. She called me to tell me what she had done, thereby saving her life. Two other friends botched suicide attempts. Two others decided to, then changed their minds. Another, more like a brother than a friend, did not change his mind. He was more thorough than most: he took overdoses of two drugs, then shot himself. If your friend confides suicidal feelings to you, she (or he) is asking for help. For God's sake, help her! (I am saying she, because women are more apt to admit to feeling suicidal before making an attempt. Men will do it without telling anyone.) Recommend counselling. Better yet, find the name of a therapist or psychiatrist, set up the appointment for your friend, and take her there yourself. (If you are not close enough to do this, at least give her the name and phone number, and tell her to call.) Don't let her sit around and be depressed. Be with her. Take her places. Don't say "We're doing such and so,if you want to come along." Say, "We're doing such and so, and we'll pick you up at seven." Don't take no for an answer. Make plans with her for next week and next month. If she's suicidal because of a specific event, don't deny that it hurts. Don't say "It's not that bad" - in her mind, it is. But say, "You can go on. It hurts, but you can conquer it and go on." Let her know you need her, too. You know her - you'll know how to comfort or inspire her. Yell at her, hug her, cry with her, tell her she can't kill herself, because if she tries, you'll kill her - just don't leave her alone. And watch her. If she seems to be making "final" arrangements (giving beloved possessions away, visiting relatives she rarely sees, etc.), DO SOMETHING THEN! Don't leave her alone for a minute if you can avoid it. If you feel she is in imminent danger of killing herself, you can (in some states and under some circumstances) have her committed to a hospital for a suicide watch. You may want to find out in advance how to do that, should it come to that. I can't say any more. The pain of my friend that killed himself is still sometimes more than I can bear, and it has been seven years. charli