moriarty@fluke.UUCP (The Napoleon of Crime) (03/26/85)
Just watching tonight's Oscar awards, and the unavoidable commercials,
and decided to open up a column I've wanted to do for a very long
time: The Dept. of Misc. Petty Grievances. A few choice examples:
- Advertisers reducing the ideals of America to sporting nature,
drunken good fellowship, and the beers we drink.
- Polls which, having determined a majority view (though it may be by
.001%), are announced under the banner "WE are [jogging more, not
getting enough carbohysrates, feeling better about ourselves,
hopelessly confused]." Even worse is when 'WE' is replaced with
'YOU'. I want to rip open the U.S.A. Today trendy paper dispenser,
stick my head in and yell, "Speak for yourselves, dirtbags!"
- Those little female twits who populate Burger King commercials, and
are constantly passing out bubbling superiority like religious pamphlets
outside of a Scientologist headquarters. I'm no McDonald's fan, but
I'd enjoy seeing whether these munchkins stand up better to flash
frying or flame-broiling.
----
Oh, a better line for Prince's acceptance speech for the best
songwriter, or whatever: "I'd like... to thank my... mother... and my
sister... and most of all... the pharmacist who I visited before the
show tonight."
And Sally Field (for SCTV afficionados): "I want to bear ALL YOUR
CHILDREN! HAAA...."
"I'm going to have you wrapped in a U.S. flag and burned personally by the
President, in high octane American gasoline!"
Moriarty, aka Jeff Meyer
John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc.
UUCP:
{cornell,decvax,ihnp4,sdcsvax,tektronix,utcsrgv}!uw-beaver \
{allegra,gatech!sb1,hplabs!lbl-csam,decwrl!sun,ssc-vax} -- !fluke!moriarty
ARPA:
fluke!moriarty@uw-beaver.ARPAbarryg@sdcrdcf.UUCP (Lee Gold) (03/29/85)
My own pet peeve among advertising stupidities is the use of the moronic IS (oops, make that the moronic "*I*S*"). I first noticed it years ago in the ad "Paul Newman *I*S* Hud." I've seen/heard it ad nauseam since then. Now there's a dumb commercial running which says, "Dannon *I*S* Yoghurt." My usual response is either "Nope, he/she/it isn't" or "Yeah, so what." Then I dig out the remote control and mute the damn thing (on TV) or turn the page (if it's a newspaper ad). I've got nothing against tropes most of the time. Synedoche (part for the whole--or whole for the part), metonymy name of a thing/concept for that of a related/greater thing), etc. are usually okay...in moderation. But this *I*S* ...is beginning to get to me. --Lee Gold
greg@olivee.UUCP (Greg Paley) (04/09/85)
> Just watching tonight's Oscar awards, and the unavoidable commercials, > and decided to open up a column I've wanted to do for a very long > time: The Dept. of Misc. Petty Grievances. > I'll add a few of mine. * The woman who's heard giggling on a number of tv and radio commericals, particularly those for Beringer wines. * Cigarette commercials that try to tie their product in with outdoor sports and good health. Notice how often there is a tennis racket, set of golf clubs, or such behind the models. * The Calvin Klein "Obsession" commercials. I think they're sick. * Anchor people who consistently stumble over the first line of the "hot" story breaking. Queen of these in the S.F. Bay Area: Wendy Tokuda. * Ads for the "Enquirer" and "People" that make us look like all we have to do when we're not eating hamburgers and drinking beer is have vicarious experiences reading about other people's private lives. - Greg Paley > - Advertisers reducing the ideals of America to sporting nature, > drunken good fellowship, and the beers we drink. > > - Polls which, having determined a majority view (though it may be by > .001%), are announced under the banner "WE are [jogging more, not > getting enough carbohysrates, feeling better about ourselves, > hopelessly confused]." Even worse is when 'WE' is replaced with > 'YOU'. I want to rip open the U.S.A. Today trendy paper dispenser, > stick my head in and yell, "Speak for yourselves, dirtbags!" > > - Those little female twits who populate Burger King commercials, and > are constantly passing out bubbling superiority like religious pamphlets > outside of a Scientologist headquarters. I'm no McDonald's fan, but > I'd enjoy seeing whether these munchkins stand up better to flash > frying or flame-broiling. > > ---- > > Oh, a better line for Prince's acceptance speech for the best > songwriter, or whatever: "I'd like... to thank my... mother... and my > sister... and most of all... the pharmacist who I visited before the > show tonight." > > And Sally Field (for SCTV afficionados): "I want to bear ALL YOUR > CHILDREN! HAAA...." > > "I'm going to have you wrapped in a U.S. flag and burned personally by the > President, in high octane American gasoline!" > > Moriarty, aka Jeff Meyer > John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc. > UUCP: > {cornell,decvax,ihnp4,sdcsvax,tektronix,utcsrgv}!uw-beaver \ > {allegra,gatech!sb1,hplabs!lbl-csam,decwrl!sun,ssc-vax} -- !fluke!moriarty > ARPA: > fluke!moriarty@uw-beaver.ARPA *** REPLACE THIS LINE WITH YOUR MESSAGE ***
jcjeff@ihlpg.UUCP (Richard Jeffreys) (04/18/85)
> > Just watching tonight's Oscar awards, and the unavoidable commercials, > > and decided to open up a column I've wanted to do for a very long > > time: The Dept. of Misc. Petty Grievances. > > I'll add a few of mine. > > * The woman who's heard giggling on a number of tv and radio > commericals, particularly those for Beringer wines. > > * Cigarette commercials that try to tie their product in with > outdoor sports and good health. Notice how often there is a > tennis racket, set of golf clubs, or such behind the models. > > * The Calvin Klein "Obsession" commercials. I think they're sick. > > * Ads for the "Enquirer" and "People" that make us look like > all we have to do when we're not eating hamburgers and drinking > beer is have vicarious experiences reading about other people's > private lives. > > - Greg Paley I must agree with your sentiments regarding the commercials, but the people who think them up are really doing a good job. The basic idea of an ad campaign is to get people to remember a product/s, but mainly to purchase the item/s the next time they go to the store. Some ads and commercials may be bad, but at least you tend to remember the bad ones longer than the better, or less obnoxious, ones. You may not purchase the items, but the advertizing agencies have at least got you to remember the product/s. The seed has been sown.......... -- [ Hey when I get it right; will you tell me please; I wanna know - Joan Armatrading ] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ || From the keys of Richard Jeffreys ( British Citizen Overseas ) || || employed by North American Philips Corporation || || @ AT&T Bell Laboratories, Naperville, Illinois || ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ || General disclaimer about anything and everything that I may have typed || ------------------------------------------------------------------------------