[net.tv] "Turkey TV" - Worth Seeing

dave@cylixd.UUCP (Dave Kirby) (12/04/85)

One night my wife and I were idling around, looking for something
worthwhile (or at least entertaining) on TV to watch, and she tuned
into NICK At Night. (Not all cable subscribers get NICK after 6:00,
but NICK actually goes til about 11:00.) Of course, NICK is the
kiddie-cable TV, an all-day-long Sesame Street that is usually
unbearable. But NICK at night is something else. There is a series
that runs on NICK at night called "Turkey TV" that is mostly kiddie
guffaws - but about half of the show looks like net.bizarre adapted to
TV. I laughed my head off at some of the stuff they have. They get
these weird foreign films and cartoons on that are very clever. I was
happy to see that good adult cartoons still exist, albeit no longer in
the US. (By adult I don't mean animated penises and the like, but
simply good thought-provoking humour such as occurred on the old
Bullwinkle and Beany & Cecil cartoons.) Some of the sight gags in the
skits are every bit as good as Ernie Kovacs had. This series is worth
catching if you get NICK at night. Most of the clips are from other
shows, usually in foreign countries. The stuff they make up to fill
up the rest of the time is typical kiddie-laffs stuff.

Let me give you a couple of good examples of some of the best fare 
on TV. They were taken from another (foreign) series, I believe.

CLIP #1:
Scene opens on a city street, with parking meters in the foreground.
Three women park their car behind the meter and walk up to it. The 
scene freezes, and the announcer says, "These women are about to 
commit a crime. The crime they commit is done throughout the country 
every day, but it IS A CRIME!" Scene unfreezes, and one woman searches 
for change in her purse, but doesn't find any. "Women have started to 
carry spare change in, of all places, their SHOES!" The woman takes 
her shoe off and pulls out a quarter and drops it in the meter. The 
scene freezes again. "Note what this woman just did. IT IS A CRIME. 
Because what she has just done is to pay the city with... SMELLY CHANGE!"

The clip goes on to trace the smelly quarter through its life cycle
after it hits the parking meter, with the meter maid coming to gather
the change and turning away in horror from the smell. A couple of
people arrive with gas masks and empty the change (from all those smelly
women's shoes). It then goes to warn how people will eat fast food
after paying with change, never aware of where that change they just
handled might have been. "Be considerate of others. Avoid passing smelly
change. It's not just good manners... it's the LAW!"

By this time I was dying on the floor with laughter.


CLIP #2:
A man is riding his bicycle in the French countryside. He stops near
a grassy meadow, dismounts his bike, and takes his lunch basket up
the hill for a little bite to eat. He pulls out this 3-foot-long 
sub sandwich bun (which, of course, is much bigger than the basket it
came in) and opens it up to prepare a large sandwich. He then proceeds
to take out a whole bunch of different meats and condiments, which could
not possibly have all fit into the bag. Okay, so far not really very
good. An old sight gag. The show cuts to a totally different skit, and
you think, "Boy, what a turkey of a clip." 

Then after the next skit, the scene goes back to the bicyclist, and 
by now he has loaded down his sandwich and is applying the final 
condiments. He closes the sandwich, then turns to clean things up a bit. 
Suddenly, while his back is turned, the sandwich starts running away, 
like a fast fat snake through the grass. The bicyclist chases the sandwich 
up and down the hill, bumping into people and other things and creating
general chaos. The show cuts away to another skit, and you wonder,
"What is the significance of this stupid running skit?" 

Finally, the show cuts to the third and final episode. By now the 
bicyclist is chasing the fleeing sandwich up a mountain. Eventually, 
when the sandwich reaches the top of the mountain, with the puffing 
bicyclist close in pursuit, the sandwich starts to lift off the top of 
the mountain, floating in mid-air and rising. The bicyclist reaches 
the top of the mountain just in time to catch the sandwich, but the 
sandwich just keeps rising, carrying the bicyclist with it through the 
air. Gradually as they rise you can see a string attached to the 
sandwich, which is pulling it upwards. Finally you see the other end 
of the string, which is attached to a giant fishing pole. A giant peels 
the bicyclist off the bait and places him on a giant sub sandwich along 
with other people and condiments. The giant closes the sandwich and 
eats it. I loved it!

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Dave Kirby    ( ...!ihnp4!akgub!cylixd!dave)