twiss@stolaf.UUCP (Thomas S. Twiss) (02/29/84)
Well, everybody, here it is. Enjoy!.....
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The Adventures of Captain Marlowe Toxin
Installment #1: Fate Is a Four-Letter Word.
Marlowe Toxin was a great sailor. His whole life he had spent on
board ships. Now, at thirty-one years of age, he was the captain of his
own ship, and a fine ship it was. He had been given the ship as a reward
for having killed Captain Black, the pirate leader who'd caused the free
traders nothing but trouble for as long as Marlowe could remember. In his
mind, Marlowe once again pictured the night he'd chased the infamous pirate
across Pire's Reef; Marlowe had sailed Sea Hawk, the fastest ship on the
seas except for Black's ship, Dark Shark, which might have eluded Toxin's
vessel had it not been over-laden with gold and loot. Black got hung up on
the reef when he tried to maneuver his low-laying vessel over the coral.
He got it free, but the bottom of the Dark Shark suffered great damage.
Sea Hawk easily sped over the reef and overtook Black and his men. There
was a long and bloody battle after the two ships engaged, and Black almost
won Sea Hawk from Marlowe--would have, in fact, had Marlowe not personally
run his long sword through Black's black heart. The Pirates were lost
without their great leader, and submitted to the crew of the Sea Hawk. The
Dark Shark sunk in the moonlit waters just after midnight, still holding a
fortune in gold, silver, and rare jewels.
Now, Marlowe Toxin--Captain Marlowe, that is--sailed easily out of the
harbor of Gildterdil, looking ahead over the bow of his schooner, Morning
Breeze. It was just before noon on a particularly beautiful summer's day.
The water was almost still. The air was cool and refreshing. He looked
beside him at the little dwarf named Fluppenstimme and wondered how the
hell he'd acquired the services of the little rat. In his mind, Marlowe
pictured the scene at the bar in Gildterdil last week...
"Eh, mon," said a little voice.
Marlowe looked down beside him and saw the small figure of a brown-
bearded dwarf. "Whatta ya want, ya runt?" he asked politely. (Though
speech of this sort was considered very unpleasant to men, dwarves
frequently conversed in this manner.)
"Eef you are Coptain Merlowe, und you are lookingk for adfentcher, Ee
gnow where you ken find eet--more then you ken handle!"
"O.K. then, pipsqueek, spit it out," ordered Marlowe as he filled his
pipe.
The dwarf shifted. Ee mootht be thure thet you will include me een
thuh tresher. Thwear the oath on yer thword."
2
"On my what?"
"On yer thword," said the dwarf as he pointed to Marlowe's scabbard
and it's contents.
"Oh, all right," said Marlowe. He placed his right hand upon the hilt
of his sword. "I swear by my life upon this sword to give you a share of
every horde; and if I die before we're back, you get my purple Cadillac."
The last part of the oath was meaningless, but it was included because it
rhymed so nicely. (Dwarves are obsessed with rhymes.)
"Okeydo," said the dwarf, satisfied. Now, hereth my offer: Ee know
where to find the Evil Thimble of Great Powere." His eyes gleamed as he
stared at the Captain, waiting for a response.
The Captain squinted and cocked his head to one side. "An evil what?"
"Not AN evil anything, THE Evil Thimble!" hollered the dwarf, and a
few curious stares came from around the bar.
"Not so loud, ya little twit!" whispered Marlowe intently. "Speak in
a civil tone or I'll boot ya outa here."
The barman smiled as he heard this from the Captain, not realizing
he'd said it only to uphold his image. Damned if these limeys are gonna
scoff at me for talkin' to this little runt, he thought.
"Now what the poop is an evil thimble," he asked as he scratched his
left ear.
"Eeth not a thimble, eeth the Evil Thymbol; thymbol, not thimble."
"WHAT?!" said Marlowe impatiently. "Ah, get the poop outa here."
"Leethen," said the dwarf. "When Ee wath a wee toot, me pa wuth a
mean old coot. Whenever Ee did enything bad, he wuth mean tuh me. Weell,
wunth Ee came home a wee mite too late, an' he thtuck me tung to a hot iern
an' he held eet there for feeve meenitth. Ivver thinth, Ee ken't thay
nuthing right. Ee got the name Fluppenstimme (floop-en-shtim-meh) which
meanth "foul-voice" an' made fun uv all dee teme."
By this time the whole bar was silent and listening with great
enjoyment. As the story ended, all but the Captain burst out laughing and
could not be silenced. Though the Captain despised the little runt, pity
welled up inside him. He yelled at the two nearest him to stop their
chiding, but they were helplessly immersed in laughter. Marlowe pulled out
his long sword and gave the first one an artificial ear-to-ear grin, the
second a premature autopsy. "You limeys shut the hell up!" he screamed.
The bar was shocked into silence, and all stared at him. He grabbed
Fluppenstimme by the hair and hurried out of the bar, thoroughly
embarassed.
"Well, quite a mess you've gotten us into," said Marlowe as he looked
down at the four-foot tall writhing bundle of fuzz and sinew.
3
Fluppenstimme remained silent as he was transported out of the bar.
They walked down the cobblestone street lined with old stone buildings as
they watched the sun set in the harbor before them. The odd pair received
a few curious glances as they made their way to the shipyard where Captain
Toxin lived on his schooner. It was getting very dark as they arrived and
Marlowe lit his oil lamp with a flint as they boarded the ship.
"You leef here?" asked the dwarf.
"Yup. Been my home for two and a half years now--since I killed
Captain Black." He wished as soon as he'd said the words that he hadn't
mentioned his famed pirate battle. He was constantly being asked to tell
the story--by old sailors, adventurers, young boys, young girls, and
everyone else who met him and knew that he'd killed the infamous pirate,
Black. Sometimes he was asked to parties or dinners just to tell the
story. He'd appear--against his will, of course--decked in his Captain's
jacket with his long sword in its scabbard, decorated with jewels he'd
found on Black's body. He carried the pirate's dagger on his belt, and
kept another in his boot--just in case. After he'd told the story, he'd be
asked many questions about the ways of the pirates. He was the local
expert, for no one in Gildterdil had studied them as much as he. And
though audiences never grew tired of his stories, he did. No, he didn't
feel like telling pirate stories tonight.
But the dwarf didn't ask him to. He followed Marlowe into his
quarters and looked around the walls at the various trophies, weapons, and
decorations he'd received for his great deeds and shows of valor. "Nithe
plathe," he said.
"Thanks," said Marlowe. "Did I ever tell you about the time I almost
single-handedly defeated Captain Black, the infamous pirate?"
"Got any pipe-weed?" asked Fluppenstimme, pulling his pipe from within
his tunic.
"Sure," said Marlowe, pouting a little. He took out his pouch and
handed it to the dwarf after filling his own pipe.
Marlowe threw himself onto his cot and motioned for his guest to sit
in the wooden chair next to his small desk. "Well, what's this evil
thimble, or whatever it is?"
"Lithen to me," said the dwarf. "Eeth uh thymbol, not thimble. Eth-
wy-em-be-oh-el, thimble."
"Oh, a symbol, a symbol..THE SYMBOL!!!!!!" he screamed, as he realized
what the dwarf was talking about. But before he had a chance to think or
say one more thing the dwarf was all over him saying, "Ththththth! Yuh
want thumbody to hear yuh?"
Marlowe peeled the dwarf's greasy hand off of his mouth and whispered
excitedly, "How do you know where the Evil Symbol is? That's supposed to
have been lost for over two-hundred years."
4
"Ee can't tell yuh nuthingk more unteel yuh promithe mee you'll try to
git it--und brink me with."
Marlowe thought. He had been waiting for a chance to do something
really big, and here was his chance. More than anything he wanted to go on
a great adventure. But he hadn't planned on getting involved with the Evil
Symbol. He had heard horror stories of people who had gone in search of
the thing, and never come back; or worse yet, come back transformed into
something awful. One close friend of his was changed into his own mother-
in-law. Fate worse than death.
And then there was the consideration of what might happen if he did
get the Symbol. Its powers were said to be so great that one was slowly
and completely transformed by it into the image and nature of it's creator,
the evil and terrible Alex, the Hag. But it was a great tool. Perhaps he
could use it for a short time to gain great wealth and power, then destroy
it. Perhaps there would be some way to control it for a short while, then
hide it somewhere that no human could ever find it again, and Marlowe Toxin
would become Ruler of the Known Lands! He, a lowly sea captain, would rule
all! Yes! Yes! It was worth the risk, it was worth the price, it was
worth having to deal with a slimy dwarf.
Fluppenstimme had fallen asleep at the Captain's desk and was drooling
brown juices all over his maps. "Wake up, you little runt. I'll do it.
Now tell me everything..."
Morning Breeze now sailed on the open sea as Captain Marlowe was
snatched from his daydream by a sharp "Grub's on!" He walked to the stairs
to the lower deck, followed closely by Fluppenstimme. Meals were cooked by
Karl, the cook and mother to the twenty-three man crew. The Captain
thought, as he entered the galley, that he ought not to get into the habit
of taking Captains' rations, a slightly larger share than regular-sized
rations. It was bad for morale. (Karl's food might be bad for him, too,
if he ate too much of it.) So, he joined his men in the galley for lunch.
The galley was the largest room inside the ship. It included a big oaken
table fifteen feet long and four feet wide which ran port to stern
across the ship's middle, large pot-bellied stove which burned wood
or coal and provided the ship's heat for cooking and cold weather, and four
tall wooden cabinets--two on either side of the entrance to the men's
sleeping quarters--which contained the ship's cooking utensils, dry foods,
tools, first aid supplies, weapons, and any miscellaneous goods which were
not big enough to have been placed in the ship's hold. In all, the room
measured thirty feet long by twenty feet wide, a veritable cathedral where
ships were concerned. It was this great room which made the Morning Breeze
so valuable. Here a captain could meet with his men under any conditions
to make plans in comfortable and accommodating setting.
Captain Marlowe and Fluppenstimme entered the galley through the rear
door off the poop deck.
5
"Ho Cap'n," said a few of the crewmembers. "Ho runt," said a few
others.
"Good-morning, men," said Captain Marlowe. "Are you all prepared to
undertake the task which we are now undertaking?"
"Yes Cap'n!" was the emphatic reply. "An' yer the best adventure
undertaker there is," added someone.
"Gee, thanks men," blushed Marlowe. He was very proud of his crew.
They were the elites of Gildterdil; the twenty best of the sixty or so
experienced sailors in the harbor town. Fifteen of them were ordinary
brigands, men of experience and great loyalty. All had impressive records
of bravery and success. In addition to these, there were two sergeant-
leaders--Scenders and Wessel--and Marlowe's first mate. The latter was a
man Marlowe could trust beyond anyone else he knew. His name was Sandaken
Giles, and he was the only man on board who had actually seen a real
dragon. The last two men were different: they were from the School of
Wizards. These were Pelegor the Sorceror and his apprentice Tok. Pelegor,
though not an officially ordained Wizard, was said to possess all the
powers of a Wizard except those of enchanting; but he did not desire the
responsibilities of wizardship. He was especially knowledged in the arcane
arts of Summoning and Cursing, though he refrained from practising the
latter because his mother had told him it was wrong.
Karl, the cook, brought the count to twenty-one, and Fluppenstimme and
Marlowe to twenty-three. Quite the fine crew, thought Marlowe smugly.
The Captain smiled cheerfully as he walked over to the table and sat
next to Sandaken. The dwarf sat opposite them, next to Tok. Karl set a
plate in front of each of them, and Marlowe said to Sandaken, "This is the
greatest and most perilous quest we will ever embark upon," then took his
first bite of Karl's prune casserole.
END PART ONE